Bobservations

Carlos was having trouble with his iPad last night. With his eyesight, he can still read some things on the screen, but he needs it to be in dark mode, and he had done something to change it back to light and asked me to fix it. And I did because I’m nice like that. Then he said the volume needed to be increased because when he was dictating to the iPad he said, and I’m quoting:

“I like to hear the clink clink clink of the dictation.”

I fixed the volume and said to him:

“You know what  like to hear? The sound of your feet moving you out of the office.”

I swear it’s pure comedy gold around here.

Whobert? Honey? It was thing 45 who closed the schools back in 2020, you dimbulb. But then what do you expect from a “Good” Christian woman who, earlier this week, prayed that that Joe Biden would die. Again.

I caught some of the Grammy’s and here’s what I thought … I loathe Beyoncé. I don’t find her the Second Coming in music and I find her a lying pandering hypocrite. As she won an award she thanked God, her dead Uncle, her parents, her husband, her three kids and, wait for it, the hypocrisy stings, the “queer” community. This after doing a concert in Dubai and being paid tens of millions of dollars to perform in a country that outlaws homosexuality. Fuck off, Bey.

Cheers to Kim Petras for being the first out--Thanks Jon--transgender person to win a Grammy in the best pop duo/group performance category, and for Sam Smith to win as the first non-binary artist; they won for their song ‘Unholy.’

Lastly, Madge’s face. Now people are playing off the outrage over Madonna’s appearance as ageism, but it’s not; it’s WhatTheFuckism. I missed the intro so I saw this person walk onstage, speak in a strange voice, not Madge’s usual British accent, and look just odd. As I began to realize it was Madge, my thoughts went from ‘Egads, her face’ to ‘Is this why her Madonna film was shelved? So she could star in the reboot of 'Hellraiser’?

With people calling it ageist to comment on Madge’s new face, I thought, let’s contrast and compare, using Cher, Madonna’s BFF as an example. This year Madonna is celebrating 40 years in music, and has a tour planned to commemorate that feat, so up top is a picture of 24-year-old Madonna from the early days alongside 64-year-old Madonna from last weekend.

Below that is Cher, also from 1983 when she was 36-years-old and contrasted with Cher, who’s been in show business for sixty-plus years,  from 2023 at age seventy-six.

Both women have had work done, but only one has crossed a line, and, again, that’s not ageism, but WhatTheFuckism.

PS And don't give me the line that Madonna looks like that because she shaved her eyebrows; t's the lips and eyes and cheeks and chin, too.

As Tyre Nichols sat propped against a police car, bloodied, dazed and handcuffed after being beaten by a group of Memphis police officers, Officer Demetrius Haley sent a photograph of Nichols to at least five people, including two fellow officers, a civilian employee of the department and a female acquaintance.

Demand police reforms.

Pete Santilli, conservative rightwingnut,  has blamed the earthquake in Turkey and Syria on Sam Smith’s demonic Grammy performance.

Yes, he says that God was so incensed at an Englishman wearing a horned hat and singing a song on TV in California that She sent an earthquake to the other side of the world and murdered over 10,000 people.

Let that sink in.

It’s almost Valentine’s Day and you know what that means: revenge gifts … like having your ex’s name engraved on a cat litter box.

The Animal Friends Humane Society , an Ohio animal shelter, offers this service to fundraise and, more importantly, help the heartbroken by letting them be petty! So, if you’ve been dumped or scorned, cheated on or mistreated, dedicate a litter box to the one you used to love. The gesture will cost $5 per box; the promotion will run until February 12, and the shelter will then reveal all the sponsored litter boxes, names included, in a Facebook post on Valentine’s Day.

Ain’t Revenge Grand?

I really need a pair of socks like this, just to see the looks on people faces as I cross and uncross my legs.

Y’all know what a fan I am of the professional sportsball stuff, right? And I especially like that this year the Quarterbacks for each team are both Black men for the first time in history with Kansas City Chiefs Patrick Mahomes, top left, going up against Eagles QB Jalen Hurts, top right. And then there are two brothers playing on opposite teams in the big game. Bottom right is younger brother from the Chiefs, Travis Kelce, while bottom left is the older brother from the Eagles Jason Kelce. All that means nothing when the real question is: Which One Would You Hit?

I hate to boast, but I really think my response to Large Marge was sheer perfection and, dare I say it, even more comedy gold?

Random Musings

So, at the Oscars last week Sam Smith won for Best song and onstage he said he’d read Ian McKellen says that no openly gay man  has ever won an Oscar and so he was proud to be the first.

That was a misquote because McKellen meant no openly gay actor has even won an Oscar; there have been openly gay people who took home the gold, like Elton John, Melissa Etheridge, Stephen Sondheim, John Schlesinger, Joel Grey — though he was not out when he won for Cabaret, Bill Condon, Alan Ball, Pedro Almodóvar, Scott Rudin and, the one who was most peeved, Dustin Lance Black.

Black got personal on Twitter and reminded Smith that he had won an Oscar in 2009 and even posted a link to his acceptance speech; he then added a bizarre comment that Smith stop contacting his fiancé, British diver Tom Daley.

Nice Dustin. But then he kept going, talking about his “point” about gay people winning long before Sam Smith and how Sam Smith should … God. Stop it, Black.

Sam Smith misspoke, and when he learned that he was incorrect he apologized. Let it go, unless all you’ve got going for you is your dusty Oscar on a shelf and you want to keep reminding us that you won.

Sheesh. We know!

I love Gotham because it’s very dark and very edgy and not at all like a comic book show. 

But I also admire the fact that they use some very hot men on the show … like Nathan Darrow, who is the new villain, Mr. Freeze.

He’s too hot to cool down. Just sayin’.

South Dakota lawmakers tried to pass a bill that would've forced trans teens to use bathrooms, locker rooms and other facilities based on their gender at birth — see my post HERE. If passed, this bill would have made South Dakota the first state to ban trans teens from using bathrooms based on their gender identity, but …

Governor Dennis Daugaard vetoed it. And asked that the legislature not override his veto.

Hopefully they’ll listen.

Rumors are swirling that the next season of American Horror Story will take place on a cruise ship.

I have a scarier thought …

A client came into my office the other day and because we are semi-acquainted, we chatted for a bit and then he said: “I’m not asking who, but did you vote?”

I said, “Of course!”

A co-worker walked thorough and said, “I ask: who did you vote for?

I said, “Isn’t it clear? I voted for the next President of the United States.”

The client sighed, “I didn’t.”

He’s a Republican. Vote!

Ben Carson is taking a seat tonight and will not be at the GOP Debate, which seems to suggest he’s giving up his campaign.

Perhaps he’ll head to Egypt and put some grain in the pyramids.

Bye Ben. You never had a chance because someone crazier than you came along to spark the Redumblicans.

Donald [t]Rump’s presidential campaign gave press credentials to the white nationalist radio program The Political Cesspool, which then aired an interview with Donald [t]Rump Jr.

This radio program supports anti-Semites, Holocaust deniers, and white supremacists like David Duke and proudly calls itself a “pro-White” program that wishes “to revive the White birthrate above replacement level fertility.” The show is hosted by white nationalist James Edwards, who has claimed that the Martin Luther King Jr. dream is “our nightmare,” “interracial sex is white genocide,” and “slavery is the greatest thing that ever happened to” African-Americans.

That’s Donald [t]Rump and his supporters and if you don’t get out and vote, he just might be the next President and that segues nicely into this …

Make The Yuletide Gay

This song is one of my favorite Christmas tunes, so I thought I'd share it four different ways,with four different singers.

Kelly Clarkson, The Carpenters, Sam Smith, and ending with Judy, who probably sang it first, and, in my mind, sang it best.

Merry Christmas ...

Make The Yuletide Gay

This song is one of my favorite Christmas tunes, so I thought I'd share it four different ways,with four different singers.

Kelly Clarkson, The Carpenters, Sam Smith, and ending with Judy, who probably sang it first, and, in my mind, sang it best.

Merry Christmas ...

I Didn't Say It ...

Elton John, on his friendship with Drug Rush Limbaugh:

"I’ve been sober for 24 years now, and one of the best lessons it taught me is to listen. When it comes to people like Rush Limbaugh, or people who might enrage you sometimes, dialogue is the only way. You have to reach out....Better to build a bridge than a wall."

But, Elton, has Limbaugh listened? Has he changed his rhetoric about the GBT community?

You might be thinking you’re building a bridge but in reality you’re just talking to a wall.

Chris Rock, on the Billy Cosby rape allegations:

“I don’t know what to say. What do you say? I hope it’s not true. That’s all you can say. I really do. I grew up on Cosby. I love Cosby, and I just hope it’s not true. It’s a weird year for comedy. We lost Robin, we lost Joan, and we kind of lost Cosby.”

Sadly, though, we lost Robin and Joan through no fault of their own, but we 'lost' Cosby due to his own ALLEGED actions in the past.

James Manning, "pastor" at the Harlem Hate Church, ranting still about Starbucks:

"If you're drinking Starbucks, watch out if you're a woman. You might just get pregnant by drinking Starbucks. Because they've got some pretty potent semen in their drinks. And you will go home and tell your husband that you're pregnant and he'll say, 'But we haven't had sexual intercourse in years! Where did you get pregnant? Is it an immaculate conception?' NO! It was one of Starbucks' lattes that impregnated you!" 

Um, “Pastor”? I’m a gay man, been Team Gay since birth, and haven’t ever had sex with a woman, but even I know you can’t get pregnant drinking a Latte.

Sam Smith, on why he decided to come out before he released his debut album:

“I came out when I was, like 4 years old. My mum said she knew when I was like three. So I didn't have to actually properly come out...So I came out at a very, very young age. I kind of felt like I just had to mention it before I released my record. Just so people knew who the record was about. And it felt like a brave thing to do, as well. I wanted to do it before because if I did it afterwards people probably would have thought I was lying just to sell records, which wasn’t the case."

Except that when you came out — before the record release which actually brought considerable notice to your music — you said you didn’t want to be The Gay Singer, or the Spokesman for The Gays.

I get it: be The Singer, not The Gay Singer, and if you want to speak up for LGBT rights, or for any group, then do that, but all this talk now just sounds too much like sales promotion to me.

Prince Harry, on those nude pictures from his Vegas vacation:

“It was probably a classic case of me being too much Army and not enough prince. It’s a simple case of that.”

Or, you’re much more of a King to me after seeing those photos. But I’m loving your explanation for how, and why, it happened.

Would You Hit It?

Sam Smith, the openly gay British singer, and current 'It Boy' along with one simple question ...

Would.You.Hit.It?

Yes or No.

John Fennell Comes Out ... Sam Smith, Too

When John Fennell turned 18 he decided he would spend the next year, his first as an adult, documenting all the milestones in his life; and that year was a doozy. He was his high school Valedictorian, he began studying business at the University of Calgary, he moved out of his mom’s house, and last February he represented Canada in the luge at the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia. But there was one last milestone to document, to celebrate, to announce:

John Fennell is gay. And he’s done with the secrets, the lies of omission, the changing of pronouns in casual conversation so no one would suspect; no more hiding.

“It’s suffocating. You have to play this game of, ‘who knows?’ You can’t let off any vibes or secrets. You have to act super macho. You have to be hyper aware of your mannerisms and to not let off any vibes that could get detected. It’s very exhausting. It’s an all-consuming paranoia of who could find out through what means.”

So John Fennell is out, and hoping that by coming out he can be a kind of role model for anyone else who’s still hiding.

Welcome out, John, and I think that anyone who comes out, famous or not, athlete or not, can be an inspiration to others who struggle with living their truth. And so, as our gift to you, from HOMO HQ, please accept a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven.

Use them in good health.

Welcome out, John, and send a welcome to …

British singer Sam Smith is set to release his debut album, In the Lonely Hour, and has decided to share with the world the inspiration behind the music, saying the album “is about a guy that I fell in love with last year, and he didn’t love me back.” 

Smith says he's had no problems with being upfront about his sexual orientation, but that the music isn’t just about same-sex relationships, it’s about any relationship.

“I am comfortable with myself, and my life is amazing in that respect. I’m very comfortable and happy with everything. I just wanted to talk about him and have it out there. It’s about a guy and that’s what I wanted people to know—I want to be clear that that’s what it’s about. I’ve been treated as normal as anyone in my life; I’ve had no issues. I do know that some people have issues in life, but I haven’t, and it’s as normal as my right arm. I want to make it a normality because this is a non-issue.”

And it is a non-issue; I think all people want is someone who’s good at what they do, athlete, singer, whatever, and their sexual orientation doesn’t matter one bit.

So, Sam, as with John, we here at HOMO HQ would like to give you a copy of The Gay Agenda and the Obligatory Coming Out Toaster Oven, and we wish you great success with your music.

Welcome out, Sam, welcome out.

John Fennell

Sam Smith