Why Is It ...

… that whenever someone says to me, “Your face looks very familiar,” I say, “I know, I’d had it my whole life.”

… that sometimes, in a stressful situation, I say to myself, “Stay calm, jessica.” I know my name isn’t Jessica, but anyway ….

… that I wish I had become a librarian just for the joy of telling people to shut up.

… that I sometimes wish I could meet someone again for the very first time … and walk right past them.

… that if people think I’m cool I tell them, Wake me up from a nap for no reason and see how uncool I can be.

… that I have decided to start telling people to “land your plane” if they’re going talk in circles.

… that I am humble enough to know that I am replaceable at work yet confident enough to know that it would take three or four people.

… that when people ask what sign I am, I say, “Stop sign. Leave me alone.”

… that people need to know they should never argue with me as the only difference between me and a psych ward patient is that I am at home!