 |
… that if it’s inappropriate
and tasteless and rude, chances are I will find it fucking high-larious. … that people need to
understand that I refer to myself as a “free spirit” because it sounds classier
than “out of fucking control.” … that I want to normalize
work emails with: “What the fuck are you
talking about?” … that I am so antisocial
that I will walk past people I know. … that I don’t even have a
sense of humor anymore. Nowadays it’s just sarcasm and a general dislike for
the majority of the human population. … that some of you people
need to go to Church because I don’t want you in Hell with me. … that if you hate me, join
the club. There are weekly meeting at the corner of Fuck You St. and Kiss My
Ass Blvd. … that if you are testing my
waters you’d best know how to swim. … that the reason I don’t
make excuses for horrible people is because I know you cannot put a flower in
an asshole and call it a vase. … that if y’all think I’m
crazy do you really think it’s a good idea to fuck with me? |
The things I would have loved to have said in work emails over the years.
ReplyDeleteRight? But I do keep it very professional and f-bomb free.
DeleteOh dear Bob, your social skills are clearly in need of remedial treatment. There must be classes that you could attend involving role play and methods for self-calming. Repeat after me, "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain...". Or try TRiY Counseling Services in Columbia SC.
ReplyDeleteI am entirely too calm.
Delete'… that some of you people need to go to Church because I don’t want you in Hell with me.' Quite so.
ReplyDeleteJust sayin' ...
DeleteThe problem with that is the fact those church-goers will probably be sent to hell for being such hypocrites!
DeleteI'm going to the Fun Hell, with The Gays and the parties!!
DeleteI do like the flower bit, but honestly, why waste a good flower?
ReplyDeleteI'd never do it, but people think it might cover up their horrible-ness.
Delete🤣👏 Whee! Bob be on a tear this morning and Cleora be so here for it!! Go cowboy!! 🤠🫡
ReplyDeleteIt's been a week. 😁
DeleteOh, dear! I find myself wanting to repeat most of these.
ReplyDeleteSometimes it helps ...
Deletethe dog's mother
ReplyDeletechortle!
xoxo :-)
All in good fun.
Deletexoxo
You sound a little angry today. Though I have to say, my sense of humour has definitely taken a nose dive lately too.
ReplyDeleteNot angry at all, just some snark.
DeleteIt's Saturday morning, so it's time for more Free Range Bob!
ReplyDeleteRe: e-mail - I knew that it was time to retire when I had to reconsider starting my e-mails with the salutation "As any fool can plainly see"
Will Jay
PS Be well. Breathe!
I love the opener, I may steal it!!!
DeleteI'm right there with you on the- if it’s inappropriate and tasteless and rude, chances are I will find it fucking high-larious. And add to that politically incorrect. LOL
ReplyDeleteI mean, I worry about people who don't find those things brilliantly funny.
Delete"some of you people need to go to Church because I don’t want you in Hell with me" -- hahahahahaha, yes, there goes the neighbourhood!
ReplyDeleteIndeed!!!
DeleteWell I certainly don't hate you and that's a good thing because I do hate joining clubs.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet I hear the club meetings are kind of fun. 🤷🏼♂️
DeleteBut will there be food? I do like to eat.
DeleteHard to say as i have never been asked to join.
DeleteI've sent that "What the fuck are you talking about?" e-mail -- just with slightly different wording.
ReplyDeleteI should try that way, 😁
Delete