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| ... in Oregon where we just had a wicked snow and ice storm leaving nearly everything frozen, My father is still in the hospital and has opted to not have the surgery, aortic valve replacement. After talking with the cardiac team, he understood that the risks of the surgery outweigh the benefits for a ninety-one year old man with an already compromised heart. One of the effects he's enduring is shortness of breath and the doctors will monitor that with medication and oxygen when he returns home. For now we will deal with quality of life and not quantity. I will be here a few more days until my brother arrives; we have arranged for hospice-palliative care to help Dad around the house doing things for him, errands and such. It's not the ideal outcome, but it's the outcome we have and will do what's best for my Dad and for the time he has left. Thank you all for your positives thoughts and vibes, it means a lot to me, and as my Dad read them , it meant a lot to him. I will take a few days when I get home to spend with Carlos and then return the blogging perhaps the 22nd, |
Sunday, January 14, 2024
I'm Still Here ...
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My very best wishes to your father and you. xxxxx
ReplyDeleteThere is a great deal of grace and strength in such a decision.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your father is able to make his own choices in this matter. Sending strength, peace and good wishes to him and to you.
ReplyDeleteGlad that everyone is doing well as expected.
ReplyDeleteBeing in healthcare I support the family's choice. Like my opinion matters but I still would like to share.
I am an avid proponent of quality over quantity in regards to medical decisions. Many family members want their loved ones given the best that medicine has to offer in order to maintain quantity of live BUT the quality of life is lacking. Their loved ones are here/alive and that is what matters to them. To be frank, that is a selfish decision but I am empathetic to their rationale but many times the patient is left wanting. You father has lived a long live at ninety-one and has beaten the odds of longevity. The risks of the surgery could affect him in quantity of time he has left. Dad has two wonderful sons who has his best interest at heart and we can discuss later who is his favorite. I wish him peace, comfort, and reduced pain.
Travel safe!!
You got the nastiest weather possible. :( I think your dad is wise. My 91-year-old mom has a leaky valve which has caused edema and shortness of breath, but her cardiologist didn't offer her the surgical option, saying to her (in so many words) that she was too old and probably wouldn't survive the operation. She would have refused anyway. Thanks to some diuretics that she hasn't even needed to take lately, she's had a very decent year, but I know that won't last. I'm hoping for peace and a painless journey for your dad.
ReplyDeleteHugs. It's hard decisions to make and a lot to have to take care of. And the weather isn't helping.
ReplyDeleteGlad you are able to be there with your Dad. I'm sure it means the world to him.
ReplyDeletethe dog's mother
ReplyDeleteEvery bit of loves to you, your Dad and your family.
xoxoxoxoxoxo
Your return date is immaterial; your time with your dad is not. Cherish these days. In the last 5 years I had my mom in assisted living and then hospice before losing her at 102 and then her sister, my aunt, who ended in memory care before leaving us at 96. It can’t be easy dealing with this from across an entire country. Know that you are in my thoughts and I wish you, Carlos and most certainly your dad all the strength and love ❤️.
ReplyDeleteGive thanks for your father. Give thanks that he is able to have his say and make the decision. None of this is easy. Once again he is teaching you a lesson by letting you walk through this with him. He is fortunate to have supportive sons. May your family be sustained through this tender time.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
I think your Dad probably made the best decision for a Man of his Season of Life and just not take risks he can avoid. May his quality of life be to his liking and may you have a Peace about it all.
ReplyDeleteI do think at 91, this is the best idea, rather than risk such surgery. I hope your dad manages well for a few more years at leat with the help and care of hospice.
ReplyDeleteWishing you and your father some good days ahead. I would have made the same decision. Sending hugs.
ReplyDeletePlease take good care...it seems all the blogs I read, everyone is gone currently. Sending good wishes and comfort to you and your father. Things like this are very upsetting, but we make the best choices we can. I can't say I can't blame your father one bit. I know at 85 I'm not having any major surgeries if I have too. With all the help and care it will make a huge difference, and when my kids are here for me, sick or otherwise, it makes a huge difference for me to have them here and present. Spent as much time as you can with him, while you know you still have the time.
ReplyDeleteMe! I couldn't sign in for some odd reason.
Thank you for the update. I remember when my father told his docs, "I am going home eat all of the chocolate ice cream I want" a very wise choice. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to hear about your dad. I hope he's reasonably comfortable, at least.
ReplyDeleteQuality of life is the best yardstick as opposed to longevity IMO. And good that your father is able to make his own decisions. I hope that your Dad, your brother and you are able to enjoy being with each other as much as possible in the time ahead.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the update on your Dad!
ReplyDeleteMarcia in cold Colorado
Know that we're all cheering for your dad and you. And your medical team.
ReplyDeleteAt any age, quality of life is what we should all concern ourselves with. Special thoughts for you and your Dad and your brother. Keep warm and safe! 🥰
ReplyDeleteI can't imagine it was an easy decision for your Dad, or easy for you and your brother to accept. I hope your time together will be filled with memories of times past and enjoyment in the moment of being together. I wish your Dad the best as he moves through this stage of life.
ReplyDeleteModern medicine can be an awesome power when Mother Nature is willing and able to play by its rule book. Having experienced similar situations with both parents, my heart tells me your father has made a wise decision. There is so much to be said for “always leave them wanting more”, especially when the alternative has such potential to be gruelingly difficult for all parties.
ReplyDeleteCyber hugs and best wishes to you, your dad, and the entire family as you navigate the next leg of this incredible journey.
Sending you e-hugs.
ReplyDeleteXOXO
I'm glad to hear that your father's medical team is listening to his wishes about his care and for the wonderful hospice team that helps folkks with the time they have let. May we each be so fortunate.
ReplyDeleteWishing you and the family well at this difficult time.
Hugs!
So very sorry for the outcome. My husband Tim is a career trauma nurse and says if you have any questions, or need to talk to someone who will understand, he's happy to help you in any way he can. As am I. Just know we're here for you.
ReplyDeleteYour father has made the right decision. Now let him go bravely into the last battle - leaving the stage like a knight of old singing songs of yore.
ReplyDeleteSomething told me to check-in today, sweetpea! Like the others here, I'm sending your Dad positive thoughts and grace to sustain him. You have my heart, dear friend! xoxo
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping for the best for your father. At his age and definitely is a fight for quality versus quantity but I hope his days are happy and peaceful
ReplyDeleteWasn't that weather awesome? We got what you got here in Idaho for the past few days. It is finally warming up. Enjoy your time with your dad and I am glad he is doing as good as can be expected. Positive thoughts and good vibes his way. Take care, Bob!!
ReplyDeleteHope your dad is able to have some comfort with you by his side. Hope you are doing OK as well.
ReplyDeleteI had left a comment unsigned but not sure where it went. I couldn't sign in. I think you made a very wise decision. I'm old too, and not about to have any major surgeries either I've made my mind up. I say spend as much time with your father as you can while you have time. That alone brings comfort.
ReplyDeleteI will say, it's been quiet without you and Maddie.