When In Doubt Make Your Plight Biblical

All kinds of talk about our lying, cheating, taxpayer defrauding governor of late. And even the asshat himself won't shut up.

Mark Sanford held a televised cabinet meeting this week, and began the meeting by comparing his plight to that of King David, who didn't back down after his own sex scandal.

Mark Sanford:
"I have been doing a lot of soul searching on that front. What I find interesting is the story of David, and the way in which he fell mightily, he fell in very very significant ways. But then picked up the pieces and built from there."

So, as the governor of South Carolina who began an adulterous affair with a woman in Argentina, who used taxpayer money to fund at least one booty call, who disappeared from his job for days on end without telling anyone, you think you're like King David?

Just because someone in the Bible lied and cheated and committed adultery doesn't make it okay, Mark. Don't you get that?

Obviously not, because after the meeting, Governor Asshat took it a step further:

"I remain committed to rebuilding the trust that has been committed to me over the next 18 months, and it is my hope that I am able to follow the example set by David in the Bible - who after his fall from grace humbly refocused on the work at hand. By doing so, I will ultimately better serve in every area of my life, and I am committed to doing so."

By doing so you are trying to scrape together the remnants of your political career and keep yourself so busy that the lovely Jenny doesn't beat the crap out of you every day.

Don't worry, Mark. Jenny may not beat you up, but I will.