Friday, July 24, 2020

I Didn't Say It ...


Gabe Kapler, San Francisco Giants manager, on being the first manager in Major League Baseball to take a knee during the National Anthem:

“I wanted them to know that I wasn’t pleased with the way our country has handled police brutality, and I told them I wanted to amplify their voices and I wanted to amplify the voice of the Black community and marginalized communities as well. So, I told them that I wanted to use my platform to demonstrate my dissatisfaction with the way we’ve handled racism in our country. I wanted to demonstrate my dissatisfaction with our clear systemic racism in our country, and I wanted them to know that they got to make their own decisions, and we would respect and support those decisions. I wanted them to feel safe in speaking up.”

Good on Gabe for stepping up, or kneeling down. This needs to be addressed and it needs to be fixed because we all … all of us … deserve equal treatment under the law.
That said, is it hot in here or is it just Gabe? Lord …. Look at him! You could slice cheese on that jawline.
Note to self: start watching the Giants.

Chuck Todd, MSNBC, on _____’s return to COVID-19 press briefings as an excuse for a daily campaign rally:

"Folks we can't emphasize this strongly enough. It isn't a public health emergency that's bringing the president back to the White House briefing room at 5 p.m. today. It is a political emergency due to declining poll numbers. So, with that said we're going to bring you the president's remarks as soon as they begin as the US reels from a record-setting surge in virus cases over these last few weeks. Hospitalizations are approaching record levels. Deaths have surpassed 140,000 as local communities scramble for the resources they need. And as the economy faces a historic and now prolonged crisis, we're gonna make sure to bring you the proper context of these presidential remarks. And we will be fact-checking his comments in real-time if we find it necessary. The president has tried to downplay the severity of this crisis. He's repeatedly made a number of misleading claims that are refuted simply by the data on your screen. And we will be putting up that data when necessary as he may repeat some of these claims again. So, let's be clear. The surging cases cannot be explained away by an increase in testing. The surge in hospitalizations proves that this virus is a serious health risk. And the rise in deaths is only expected to get worse."

I want y’all to start acting like Chris Wallace. Call the lies out to his face; demand a real, truthful answer—which you won’t get lest that orange blob sitting atop his shoulders implodes.
Do your jobs.
Thom Tillis, North Carolina GOP Senator, lying in his claim that Hispanics in his state don’t wear face coverings as much as other people, which is why they make up a higher percentage of COVID-19 cases:

“Just wear the mask out of respect. And I will tell you, I’m not a scientist and I’m not a statistician, but one of the concerns that we’ve had more recently is that the Hispanic population now constitutes about 44 percent of the positive cases. We do have some concerns that in the Hispanic population we’ve seen less consistent adherence to social distancing and wearing a mask.”

Funny how he says he is not a scientist or statistician and then proceeds to act like one.
And his lie Hispanics aren’t wearing masks as frequently as other demographic groups is utter nonsense. In fact, polling shows that White Americans are consistently less likely to report wearing a mask or supporting the use of face coverings compared to African Americans, Asian Americans and Hispanics.
I mean we aren’t seeing very many Black Karens or Latina Karens, are we?
Karens screaming about masks are generally white.
James Hawley, British pro boxer, deciding to share his opinion of gay men and transgender people, even though no one asked:

 “I 1,000, 1 million per cent do not agree with this stuff. Listen, I can understand girls get with each other all the time at parties and all things like that. I don’t care, not a problem. I’d want them to get with each other in front of me. But boys on the other hand, and transgenders, there’s something seriously wrong with you. What in the earth makes you want to change your gender and get f**ked in the ass. What is up with you dirty c****? I feel sorry for your families.”

Hawley’s promoter, MTK Global, which also represents boxers Tyson Fury and Carl Frampton, dumped Hawley after the rant:
“It has always been our mission to make boxing accessible to all, embracing individuality and being a safe space where community can express themselves and support one another. MTK Global does not in any way condone, or support the views that were shared in any way, nor will these comments ever be considered as acceptable from any of our fighters hence the decision that was made by management.”
Bye Felicia.
Jerome Adams, U.S. Surgeon General, on Fox News saying people should wear masks but it should not be law:

“If you’re going to have a federal mandate, you have to have a federal enforcement mechanism. And right now … I would rather help people understand why they should cooperate with wearing a mask and how they benefit from it versus just saying we’re going to force you to do it particularly by sending in federal troops or enforcing federal mechanisms. It relies on the individual people of America to do the right thing. That’s why I’m pleading with your viewers, I’m begging you, please understand that we are not trying to take away your freedoms when we say wear a face covering. We are not trying to take away your ability to go out when we say keep restaurant capacity under 50 percent. We are saying if we do these things, we can actually open and stay open. We can get back to school, to worship, to jobs. We can do this. The power to stop this epidemic is in the hands of the American people.”

Why’d you wait so long, doc? If masking is so good, why did you say nothing for all these months?
Oh yeah, the Mob Boss.
As a doctor you should be ashamed of keeping silent about a potential way to really slow the spread of COVID because _____ might be pissy with you.
Andrew Gillum, former Florida Democratic gubernatorial candidate, on his fall from grace after being discovered in a Miami Beach motel room with crystal meth and two other men, one of whom was a gay escort:

 “I didn’t want to talk emotionally or really deeply about what had happened in the race for governor because it was a constant reminder of failure and my own personal failures. It was a reminder that I had let so many people down. All the things I wanted to suppress and numb and forget about, that depression around what I was experiencing there became far too much for me to keep down. And that’s the real crazy thing about depression. A lot of time we think we’re dealing with it, we’re strong and we’ll put on a brave face and it bubbles up on the inside but eventually what bubbles up on the inside is going to come out. [But] don’t be like me. Don’t suffer in silence. Get access to the help that you need. Nobody has it all together.”

I ain’t trying to out anybody, but let’s just say that, ALLEGEDLY ,you ran for political office and poured your heart and soul into it, and then lost. And you are, again ALLEGEDLY, struggling with your sexual orientation. That’s a bad mix.
Hopefully, Andrew gets his life together.
Valentina Sampaio, on being the first transgender woman to be featured in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit issue:

“I was filled with so many emotions of happiness when I heard the news. The feeling was surreal. Being in SI Swim has always been on my bucket list of things to achieve in my career. It’s a dream come true on so many levels. SI has been a deeply meaningful achievement. To come from a space of fear and marginalization, to now being included in one of the most iconic magazines that truly embraces and celebrates diversity—it is life changing. [And] as a community, each personal success is a step forward for all. I am very grateful to God and all whom have helped me along my journey so far. I honor the challenges of those who have paved the way for me directly or indirectly. They have made where I am today possible. I am committed to keep growing and push boundaries, so that I can in some way, pave the path for others. We are here, we always have been here, and we always will be."

Last year, Sampaio broke ground as the first trans model to partner with Victoria's Secret, appearing in a campaign for the lingerie brand's PINK line. Her goal is to become the first trans woman to grace the cover of Vogue.
And I’ll be buying that issue.
Congratulations Valentina for opening a door for others in the trans community.
Chris Colfer, Glee actor, paying tribute to fellow Gleek,  Naya Rivera, who died last week:

“I’m not sure anyone on Earth could give Naya Rivera the tribute she deserves [but] the process of losing her has been such a nightmare, I find myself wondering if Naya was even real or if she was just a dream all along. How could a human being be that talented, that hilarious and that beautiful at once? How could one person be responsible for so much joy and be the subject of so many wonderful memories? … Her heroic and groundbreaking portrayal of Santana Lopez on Glee inspired millions of young people around the world, especially in the LGBTQIA community, and it will be treasured for generations to come.”

Naya’s character, Santana, was one of my favorites on Glee because she was a bitch with a heart of gold … kinda like me.
RIP Naya

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Bobservations

Not so much a Carlos story, but he’s in it … a lot.

Last week I drove him up to the Lancaster Country Courthouse for an interpretation. I waited in the hall while he did his thang, and when it was over he walked outside with one of the attorneys who asked him for a business card. Then the lawyer said:
“Gimme your number and I’ll shoot you a text.”
I died a little; we are not phone people, and while we have cell phones we have … wait for it … it’s epic … it’s so last century … we have flip phones. Now, that’s fine for me being that I enjoy, er, enjoyed, being a luddite.

Anyway, I suggested to Carlos that we look into getting him a smartphone so that he can use it for business—Tax Deduction!—and he contacted AT&T who we bundle our “stuff” with. Turns out we have been such good customers, we were able to get two phones with a nice little package and our monthly bundle will would only … go down by about $25 a month.

And that’s how, in the Year of our Good Lord He Finally Upgraded, Carlos and I have iPhones.

Now the hardest part was trying to make Carlos, whose one bad habit is that he thinks he knows everything and doesn’t need to read instructions or take his time, slow down and not fuck this up.

It’s a process.
Ain’t it funny how government—made up of mostly old white men who think they control the bodies of more than half the electorate—works?

Two GOP Senators Dan Sullivan and Marco Rubio posted about the passing of Congressman John Lewis last week. It was nice, except they each posted pictures of themselves with Not-John-Lewis, but with Elijah Cummings.


It looks like Sullivan and Rubio fit the description as morons and asshats.
When it rains …and boy, did it rain on Monday. I had to run into work in the early afternoon for a few minutes and as I was getting ready to go, we had a massive thunderstorm in town. Carlos asked me not to go out in bad weather and I reminded him that I’ve been driving for well over 100 years and could handle a little rain.

BOOOOOOM! A massive lightning strike hit close to our house and Carlos claimed it was God agreeing with him while I said it was the Goddess agreeing with me; so out I went.

Well, the strike was, in fact, awfully close to the house and fried our DVR. No big; a quick call to AT&T and a new one was sent out … and arrived less than 24 hours later, how’s that for service?

But … I came back from work and did a few things on the computer before dinner. Then we ate and after that I went back to the computer and … no internet.

Luckily, again, it was a minor fix—some kerfuffle about a battery and a loose cable or maybe hamsters getting off their wheel—and we were back online, until ….

The next morning the AC went out; the fan was blowing but the AC was not in attendance … on a day when the weather would hit in the high 90s and higher humidity.

Luckily, again, a repairman came out and fixed that in a jiffy; we still need a servicing done, and a new computer board, but we’re back to living cool and easy.

Until that next storm???
Let this sink in … Jenna Ellis, a top _____ campaign adviser appeared on the Russian-government funded TV network RT, which U.S. intelligence agencies have said played a role in the Kremlin’s plans to undermine American democracy.

During her interview, Ellis defended _____’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic, bashed the American media as “propagandist activist media” and claimed Fox News—the news network most friendly to the president—of having an anti-Trump bias.

Why in the world is a _____ advisor campaigning for _____ in Russia?
Missouri Governor Mike Parson has announced that he will likely pardon Mark and Patricia McCloskey, AKA Ken and Karen, that white St. Louis couple who came out of their houses armed with guns and aimed them at peaceful BLM protestors in the street.

White couple pardoned for threatening Black protestors.

Racist governor.
Jim Justice, what a misnomer that is, is listed in Forbes magazine as a billionaire. He is also the richest man in West Virginia and governor of that state. In addition, he owns a vast array of businesses—coal mines, resort hotels and agricultural interests—many of them regulated by the state agencies he now runs.

Please explain then, why companies owned by Jim Justice and his family received up to $24 million from one of the federal government’s key coronavirus economic relief programs.

Oh yeah … Republican … Swamp … Liar … Thief. And a billionaire with his hand out for that guv’mint check.
Eyal Berkover is an Israeli model and actor and TV personality and an all-around hot slab of meat who seems to enjoy wearing as little as possible.


And I’m fine with that.



Wednesday, July 22, 2020

Architecture Wednesday: Maple Hill Farm


This week I went big …huge … giant … and all kinds of stunning and land and places to go and things to do and expensive.

This is Maple Hill Farm, a 10,000 square foot, 7 bedroom and 7-and-a-half-bathroom home, sitting on a hair under 50 acres in Redding, Connecticut. Now, while it’s called a ‘farm’ it really is more of a Gentleman's Farm, in that while it is also a working farm, it is also a luxurious retreat and party spot, with room for guests in the main house and all throughout the property.

At the heart of the estate is the main house, a country manor blending contemporary style with unrivaled amenities; in addition there are three antique guest homes, a state-of-the-art private recording studio and performing arts venue in one barn, a working barn, a sugar house, boat house, orchard, fields, old stone walls and a 300-foot stream with multiple waterfalls cascading into a 3-acre pond stocked with largemouth bass and brown trout.
Fishing? Oh honey, no, but perhaps a guest might enjoy it?

There are pig and chicken coops, a tennis court, a riding ring, a ballfield, horse stalls and paddocks; there are acres of riding and hiking trails through woods and open space, with carved wooden statues of A.A. Milne's beloved Winnie the Pooh characters.

Maple Hill Farm is just one hour from La Grande Apple and epitomizes refined living, luxury amenities and rustic, rugged outdoor fun.

Oh, and it can be your for $19 million.

ISBL Asshat of the Week: Ted Yoho


This week House Majority Leader Steny Hoyer issued a stern condemnation of Flori-duh Congressman Ted Yoho after he got into a heated exchange in the Capitol with freshman Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez that allegedly ended with Yoho uttering the words:
“Fucking bitch.”
Hoyer, the Democrat Congressman from Maryland said:
“The comments related to me were despicable. Unacceptable. Mr. Yoho owes not only the Congresswoman an apology, but an apology on the floor of the House.”
And, as is the GOP way, Yoho’s office denies that he made the comment, saying something about how, after the confrontation with AOC, he walked off muttering his opinion of her policies:
“Bullshit.”
Funny, that’s what I say about Yoho’s explanation. Better still, is AOC’s Tweet response:
“I never spoke to Rep. Yoho before he decided to accost me on the steps of the nation’s Capital yesterday. Believe it or not, I usually get along fine [with] my GOP colleagues. We know how to check our legislative sparring at the committee door. But hey, “b*tches” get stuff done.”
According to the reporter from The Hill Yoho, after talking to AOC about unemployment and crime in New York City, told her she was “disgusting” and out of her mind.

Typical GOP man, afraid of a smart, opinionated woman in power.

Monday, July 20, 2020

Karen Goes To Starbucks


Amber Lynn Gilles is one of those Starbucks Karens, but she’s a Karen with a twist.

See, Amber Lynn Gilles went to a San Diego Starbucks without a mask and Lenin Gutierrez, the on-duty barista, refused to serve her. So, Amber Lynne Gilles took his picture and posted it to Facebook to somehow shame him for trying to protect people from the virus:
“Meet lenen [sic] from Starbucks who refused to serve me cause I’m not wearing a mask. Next time I will wait for cops and bring a medical exemption.”
Sadly, her post backfired in an epic way. Facebook people saw and shared Amber Lynn Gilles’ post and felt badly for Lenin; one of those folks started a GoFundMe page as a “virtual tip jar” to raise $20,000 for Lenin. The page raised well over 100K and now … wait for it … it’s epic …it’s totally Karen … are you ready …. Here goes … Amber Lynn Gilles wants half the money.

Yes, Amber Lynne Gilles says Lenin discriminated against her by asking to follow California law requiring masks to be worn in public spaces:
“It was discrimination, and everybody is OK with it and enabling and rewarding that behavior. I get shortness of breath, dizziness and it messes with the heartbeat, and I do have asthma as well, and I do get mask-acne. So, there’s several things going on and not only that but it doesn’t even work.”
Boy, she is one hot mess: asthma and mask acne? Still Gilles went to her local TV news channel, KGTV, and gave them two documents to prove her exemption.

The first was a pelvic exam from 2015, with results that say “probable exophytic fibroid arising from the anterior wall of the uterus measuring 2.9 cm size,” and “simple 2.5 cm left ovarian cys.”

Ovarian cyst and masks? Now, granted I am not familiar with female anatomy, but does that even make sense?

The second document was a handwritten note on letterhead from a local chiropractor, who claimed that Gilles “has underlying breath conditions that prevent her from wearing a mask or any type of facial covering whatsoever.”

A chiropractor? Gilles defended that note by saying:
“They are dedicated to providing non-invasive personalized care and treatment. They are real doctors.”
And then Amber Lynn Gilles said she may start her own GoFundMe to raise money for legal fees should she decide to sue … unless she gets an apology:
“I feel like I need the apology. I’ve been discriminated against, I’m the one who’s sick.”
And now I agree with Amber Lynn Gilles: she is sick. But I also have a tad bit of advice:
Dear Amber Lynn Gilles,
Stay the fuck home then.
Love, America.

Bullshit Barbie's CliffsNotes for Press Briefings™

Poor Kayleigh McEnany promised the press she’d never lie to them—which was broken the second that last syllable escaped her lips—but she never promised she’d be an incompetent moron, and yet here she is …

Last week Reuters photographer Jonathan Ernst captured a closeup of the binder McEnany brings with her to every briefing and, well, it’s high-larious and indicative of everything that’s wrong about this White House, Hot Mess.


You see, at every briefing, McEnany is seen flipping through her Cliff Notes of Press Secretary-ing  and then appearing to read verbatim from pre-written responses. Now, to be fair, there’s a lot of information on a variety of topics, so that explains the binder tabs marked “Covid” and “Test” as well as “PPE,” “Masks,” “CDC,” and “Cases.”

But then there’s the tab “Mary,” allegedly information on The Occupant’s niece who just released a tell-all book about her batshit crazy sociopathic uncle; or the one marked “Hogan,” which may refer to Maryland’s Republican Governor Larry Hogan who wrote a scathing Washington Post essay condemning _____’s pandemic response. 

And then there’s “Goya,” which I don’t think is an ethnic foods recipe section.

The other day McEnany—pronounced Mac-ah-ninny—seemed to read from the LGBTQ section after being asked about _____’s ban on transgender troops by saying:
“I haven’t talked to him about that specific policy, but this president is proud that in 2019 we launched a global initiative to end the criminalization of homosexuality throughout the world. He has a great record when it comes to the LGBT community. The Trump administration eased a ban on blood donations from gay and bisexual men and he launched a plan to end the AIDS epidemic by 2030, so we’re very proud of our achievements.”
But nary a word about the transgender ban because I guess there’s no tab for that?
Here are some of Kayleigh’s actual tabs …

This one is full because everything is Obama’s fault.


This one is the biggest and perhaps the only one she really needs. The other one is recipes.


This one is empty, and the Russia one contains Love Letters from Donny to Vladdy™.


And, lastly, sadly, she can’t even spell Mueller correctly.