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As we begin this week, I am not at all shocked to find that no one, no one, is missing Sandhya. All the talk, instead, is of Fashion Week and who wants to go. Hint: At this point in the show, I think they all go, some as dummy collections, and three, or maybe four, as finalists.
Plus, we get Alexander, Fan Favorite [?], bemoaning his failure to win one challenge and declaring that this week he needs a win. I already see where this is going …
But first, the designtestants meet Tim in the workroom, along with Mary Kay Global Makeup Artist Luis Casco. The challenge this week is to create a look inspired by Mary Kay's campaign, "Discover what you love," and do so with a random, real woman, that each designer will pluck from Washington Square park.
The designers have $200 and two days to get this party started! Oh, and the winner, while no longer getting immunity, will find themselves, their look, and their muse featured in a Mary Kay ad in Marie Claire.
Let’s rip ….
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THE SAFE
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SEAN
He went fringe again because, well, he won with fringe the last time, but he also got the Invisible Edit because, except for his critique with Tim — who said he didn’t see Sean anywhere in his look — Sean wasn’t really seen anywhere on the show.
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THE TOP THREE
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EMILY
Her muse is Julia, a yoga teacher from the Ukraine who loves Thierry Mugler as much as Emily, so this might be a good fit … with pleats and fans and flounces and ruffles. Oh my.
At the critique, Tim thinks Emily's look is beautiful. Emily, though, wonders why Tim always likes her work, and the judges always seem to disagree. But she’ll soldier on, with more pleats.
WHAT SHE SAID
She looks amazing in the dress. It fits her perfectly; there is a lot of movement. I feel like my look really stands out.
WHAT I SAID
Movement in the dress, yes; movement in Emily’s blue hair, no. I had to get that out because her hair, especially this week, looked like a blue felt hat … to me. But about the dress … it was cool, and fun, but a bit too much with all the details.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina called it Origami Flamenco — which, personally, I thought was a spot-on assessment — but also said it was Emily’s best work; she did, however, say it bordered on costume, and wasn’t a fan of the pleated fans at the neckline. Heidi saw Nina's Origami Flamenco and raised it to Carmen Miranda without the Fruit Bowl, i.e. a costume.
Guest Judge Michelle Monaghan loved the color, and the movement, not the ruffles and the pleats, while Second guest Judge, Asha Leo, wouldn’t wear it, but when she heard the hows and whys of the design — Julia has many artist friends and would wear it to an art opening — she “got” it. The Adorable Zac Posen™ disagreed with the comments from the ladies about it being a costume, and said it was, at least out of all the looks last night, actual fashion, had runway impact and was bold.
WHAT HAPPENED
Emily makes it into the top, but is just safe.
KINI
His muse wants a first date dress, and her style is basically tie dye and she says she “never dresses up”; all of that sends Kini into a tailspin and he squirts out a white dress that reminds me of a Granny Nightgown, all the while complaining that he doesn’t know what to do.
Then it hits him: denim. I thought maybe it should have hit him again, but that’s just me. He says denim is what he showed to get on the show and denim is what he’ll show again. Of course, he shows Tim both dresses, and says he’ll decide what walks the runway when his muse arrives, and when she does, it’s faded denim dress and dark denim jacket. Yee haw!
WHAT HE SAID
My dress is strong and I feel like it shows my point-of-view.
WHAT I SAID
It’s like Dolly Parton from the 80s mixed with Miranda Lambert from today. I actually hate it.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it perfect, and said he was glad Kini went back to his denim roots — as opposed to the dark roots beginning to show in his platinum Mohawk. Heidi loved the frayed edges — thinking they looked like lace detail, which, to me, screamed Country Music Awards — and called it her favorite look on the runway because it was a look for a real woman.
Nina loved the jacket — though, am I the only one who noticed how hard it was for Kini’s girl to get out of it, and how she had to raise her hands over her head just to get it back on? Nina also worried that it was too serious for a date night, unless the date was mowing the lawn. Michelle agreed that it wasn’t a really fun look, and wished it had been shorter.
WHAT HAPPENED
Although Kini wants to win every challenge and win the entire show, he came in Second Place.
KORINA
I know all about the editing of these shows, but this week, the Korina is a smug b*tch with an ego issue, worked my nerves; throw in her eye-roll every time Tim said he liked someone else’s look and she’s rapidly replacing Amanda — well, maybe not rapidly — as the designer I loathe most. Her hits:
Char does peplum because it’s easy.
Kini’s dress looks like a rodeo; okay, maybe she was right that time.
Amanda’s look made her dizzy.
Emily’s look is extravagant, but who would wear it?
Sean is good at construction but cannot design.
She went too far picking off my Totes Adorbs Sean!
Meanwhile, back at her muse, Shelby, a professional ballerina: Korina will fall back on the bomber jacket she always makes — and then brags about how many of the designers are asking for one — and a little dress underneath. It’s basically what she did the last time she won a challenge: coat and dress. And she says Char is one-note?
WHAT SHE SAID
She looks soo cute. She’s totally rocking her new look.
WHAT I SAID
I think people said “totally” back in the 80s, which is where the look comes from — seriously, didn’t Debbie Gibson rock this on one of her mall tours?
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina loved the look, and thought it was a good pairing with her muse, and what her muse does for a living; she loved the flirty skirt and the cool jacket. Michelle loved the versatility of the look, and loved the edgy cool jacket as well. Asha wanted to make babies with the coat — I’ll leave that alone — and loved that it mixed leather and tweed, calling it a Kate Moss and Kate Middleton baby, I guess.
Heidi was on the fence — mainly because of the 80s boots — but loved the jacket, too. Man, if they only had Project Runway: Jackets, Korina might be a star! The Adorable Zac Posen™ simply said it was great work.
WHAT HAPPENED
Korina got her second win and a team of assistants came out to the runway to help carry her fat head backstage.
Did I mention I loathe her?
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THE BOTTOM THREE
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AMANDA
She has Eva as her muse and wants to make a modern office look that features her bohemian aesthetic. Modern Bohemian? Can it even be done? Not last night, folks!
She picks a striped fabric, and then decides to chevron it to death. Tim points out how uneven the stripes are, and how they don’t match. And Amanda herself pointed out that it was just bad and for once I agree with her assessment of her own work. Plus, all those stripes, all those arrows, all those chevrons, guiding the way to the model’s vagina. That is never good.
WHAT SHE SAID
She looks hot! She looks confident! It kinda looks like I don’t know how to make a dress!
WHAT I SAID
I concur on all points; it was sad and boring, and the only thing that looked modern as her muse’s makeover.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Nina says that the general idea for her look was fine, but the execution was totally off; the hem was bad, the proportions were bad, but it had a good vibe. The Adorable Zac Posen™ said it looked “outlet mall.”
Heidi hated it; it was dated. The hem was wonky and the vest was too long. Michelle loved the vest, but hated the dress; she did, though, say the makeover in hair and make-up was the best. Asha described it best as "More clothes, less fashion."
WHAT HAPPENED
She could’a gone home, should’a gone home, but she’s safe … again.
CHAR
Char’s model is Lisa, a pre-school teacher with a rocker husband and that last part is all that Char seemed to hear; that, and how much her model liked red. I mean, how else to explain the all red onesie, with the backless blazer and peplum done in red? As Tim sees it Char needs to check her taste level, because this woman is a pre-school teacher and this look is bordering on pre-school Sex Ed teacher.
And sex education was almost what we got when the zipper on the shorts busted out just two minutes — or so they say — before the runway. There was side-ass and a bra sighting, and Char ran to Tim for help. Tim decided that since this was a “real” woman and not a model, he’d give Char the extra time to fix the zipper, if the other designers agreed. They all did, until they got backstage and then they all bitched about it.
So, Char gets the zipper back on and the pre-school teacher stays pre-school and not post-school, if you get my meaning.
WHAT SHE SAID
She’s having fun. She’s definitely ricking the moment.
WHAT I SAID
I had two thoughts about the color and the flounce: Peplum Bismol™ or Pepto Abysmal™. Just sayin’.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
The only thing Heidi likes is the color. And says there is just too much wrong with the look; it’s neither sophisticated nor classy. The Adorable Zac Posen™ called it a “tap dance” costume and unfortunate, while Nina hated the idea of putting a pre-school teacher in such an outfit. Michelle, though, loved it a little bit when the peplum blazer was taken off and tossed into the trash.
When Tim tells his Charkita Tale, or Chark Tale — see what I did there? I should work for Disney — Asha questioned whether she should be Auf'd for sewing very well in the first place.
WHAT HAPPENED
So, while the judges debate Aufing Char for the zipper ripper, in the end, she's safe.
ALEXANDER
As I said up top, Alexander is going home and I knew it from the start. The whole, I must win edit, from the guy who is almost always bad, just seemed to seal his fate before the show even really started.
But … his muse is Marisa, a thrift store retro, old school Broadway kinda girl, so Alexander picks a couple of prints to mix and match … or mix and mismatch as Tim said.
At the critique Tim calls a PR First: he brings Alexander to his side and tells him he’s a fabulous designer — My thought? Why lie? — but then calls the look hideous and practically demands that Alexander start over. He even used “butt ugly” to talk about the dress.
When Alexander was at Mood, he picked the green pattern fabric, and then found a yellow hound’s-tooth; I noticed that one side was hound’s-tooth and one side was dots and I thought, Use the dots. But when Tim said he hated it, I thought, Turn the fabric over and use the yellow hound’s-tooth. Alexander wasn’t listening and scrapped the dots-tooth for an all green hound’s-tooth mixed with black. Uh oh.
WHAT HE SAID
I’m happy with the look, She looks so confident.
WHAT I SAID
She looked like a sad 50s cheerleader:
U-G-L-Y
You ain’t got no alibi
That’s ugly
What?
That’s ugly.
WHAT THE JUDGES SAID
Heidi hates it and asks “What happened?” Then she found out when she discovered the back of the top was taped together instead of sewn. Asha seems to know; she’s all about the high skirt and the crop top, but thinks the fit is bad, and the fact that it seems to be pulling away from the body — it seems like even the dress knows this is a loser and is trying to escape!
Nina thought he had a good direction going, but hated that he chose a summer silhouette and then used more wintery fabrics. Michelle said he simply missed the retro aspect of the look. The Adorable Zac Posen™ had no words, which was probably for the best.
WHAT HAPPENED
I pitched this headline to Women’s Wear Daily: Fan Favorite Auf’d!!
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MY TAKE
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The judges waiting! Really? That was so fake because you just know if Nin and Heidi were kept waiting they’d storm the workroom with pitchforks demanding someone’s head on a platter.
Did anyone else find it interesting that all the models were thin and, for the most part, tall? I mean, I was annoyed by Cute Sean and his dismissal of a girl who wanted to be his muse — she was short and not rail thin — with an I’m looking for a tall girl comment.
ZipperGate! I realize, and agree with Tim, that sending a real woman down the runway in an outfit that is gaping open and showing side ass isn’t good, but that’s the show. That said, the other designers who said it was fine with them to give her more time, and then kvetched and moaned — and I’m looking at you Evil Korina — can kiss the Muse’s side ass.
I loathe Korina. She’s won two challenges because of a coat. Not the whole look, but because of a coat. And now she’s walking around like the HBIC. Oh hail no. Someone get me Nina!!
That said, this week I wasn’t really impressed by any look. Emily’s was fashion, I’ll grant that, but the rest were just clothes. I think any of them could have gone home.
Next week, teams and twists and a Charkita meltdown!
And did anyone else notice that, in years past, when a winner gets an ad in Marie Claire, we get to see the ad by show’s end? Not this time. I wonder if the ad was ever produced?
What did YOU think?
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