Why Is It ...

… that a coworker was talking about people’s looks and she announced that she believes everyone has a good side so I told her she was a circle

… that it was only five years ago when people weren’t allowed to get close to me and I miss those days

… that after all these years my boss still doesn’t get me. Last Friday I said to him, “Since it’s the last day of the week do you mind if I take a longer lunch.” He said, “No problem, when will you be back,” and I said, “Sometime next week.”

… that as a white man in South Carolina I am terrified people will think I’m a Republican.

… that some of you come from the “If you stop crying I’ll buy you something” generation  while I come from the “If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about” generation. We are not the same

… that people forget that karma can’t do everything; learn to insult people sometimes

… that people don’t realize I am sarchotic … so sarcastic that you can’t tell if I’m joking or psychotic.

… that I giggle when I get an Unknown Caller on my phone; I rarely pick up even when I know the person

… that sometimes you’ll be listening to someone yammer on and on and on and realize that their frontal lobe hasn’t fully marinated yet

… that most days I really don’t feel like crushing it, so I’ll just crinkle it a little