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I told Carlos that since we’re both at home, I would assign points to chores and whomever has the most points accumulated by the time we are set free—assuming neither one of has killed the other, dismembered him, and shipped him off to various parts of the world via FedEx—the loser would have to take the other away for a weekend wherever the winner wants to go.
First day: I mowed the lawn and awarded myself 100 pts. Carlos raked leaves and got 5 points.
Second day: Carlos cleaned the living room, dining room, office and bedrooms for 35 points. I cleaned the kitchen for 250 points. It’s a rigged system but I like it …
Where do I want to go?
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Why is it when you see Oprah and Gayle King, Gayle always looks like she’s about to get a doggy biscuit, a pat on the head, and a ‘Good girl,’ from Oprah?
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Christian Siriano, Project Runway winner and fashion designer, is paying attention, and upon hearing about the shortage of medical masks––mainly due to panic buying––he reached out via Twitter to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo to offer the services and resources of his fashion house to produce some:
“If @NYGovCuomo says we need masks my team will help make some. I have a full sewing team still on staff working from home that can help.”
And Cuomo accepted and Christian’s and staff went to work competing an order of masks in a weekend.
Oh, and he’s not making a dime off them; it was done free.
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Harvey Weinstein has tested positive for the coronavirus in prison begging the question: why the fuck are we testing Weinstein when they are non-criminal Americans who need the test?
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As the coronavirus spreads around the county, Jerry Falwell, faux-Christian-religious-wingnut president of Liberty University has invited students to return to residence halls and has directed faculty members to continue to report to campus even as most classes move online.
All in the name of making _____ look good. Who cares if it sparks a surge in new cases or anyone dies? Right, Jerry?
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Some good news out of Washington …fingers crossed … it looks like _____’s businesses are barred from getting loans or investments under the new $2 trillion coronavirus stimulus deal, according to Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer.
The ____ Organization, of which the president has not divested though he swore he would, is run by his two elder sons, Junior and The Dumb One.
Hopefully once this is all over, _____ won’t get his fellow GOP criminals to change this and back pay him for all his suffering.
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As unemployment claims surge, Starbucks CEO and President Kevin Johnson announced that his company will pay all of its employees in the US and Canada for the next 30 days, regardless of whether they come into work or the stores they work at temporarily close.
That’s how it’s done; people over profits.
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Denis Suraev. All I know is that he’s a Russian model, he’s tall, he’s hot, he’s built like a son of a bitch and I’d like to climb him. Is that so wrong?
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Siriano confirmed he rocks.
ReplyDeleteDenis is stunning.
Alley supports Trump... Why?
And you and Carlos are simply adorable. I giggled at your story! ^.^
How many points do you get for climbing Denis? I mean, things will certainly be hard. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou know, if Carlos is smart (of course he is!), he'd just let you do all of the work since he's going to lose anyway. Just a thought.
ReplyDeleteChristian Siriano and Kevin Johnson, proof that altruism is still alive and kicking in this ____tastic world.
My Maltese, Cujo, is a son of a bitch, but I wouldn't put him in the same category as Denis. That man's a mastiff! Nice.
Ha ha, that tweet!
ReplyDelete(Carlos)
ReplyDeleteStay safe and I think Hawaii
is a good place to visit!
If I have to wear a mask, how fun would Christians be?!?!?
ReplyDeleteAnd come on Bob, if Fawell doesn't open up Liberty University, how will he find his next poolboy and blow jobs?
Congrats to Starbucks. Bloomie's is the same for us. While closed, full time will get 35 hours, part time 15 hours, indefinitely while we are closed. We too, if choose, can use PTO to supplement up to 40 hours if we want.
And I have long adored a Russian man...especially when in bed and I hear that accent
Alley who?
ReplyDeleteBob, I didn't know you were criminal!
That model is the only good thing about Russian interference I’ve read in awhile. Hot damn!
ReplyDeleteI’m gonna have to have a convo with Carlos, Bob. Bob!
Christian and many people from theater and the arts have jumped to help NY. Kudos!
Fuck Harvey and fuck Kristie and fuck Falwell. Ugh.
XoXo
Good for Christian
ReplyDeleteThat poor Russian boy obviously needs a good job so he can afford to buy a new pair of trousers!
@Hot
ReplyDeleteYes, to all, even the 'you and Carlos are simply adorable" part!
@whkattk
It'd be a lot, cuz that looks like a workout, even after you reach the summit.
@DeeDahLah
Shush. Carlos hasn't figured that part out yet!
@Debra
Her 15 minutes are way up.
@TDM
i could do Hawaii!
@MM
christian came off as a self-involved twit on his season of the PR, but it's nice to see that he's evolved and stepping up in these times!
And I can hear Denis murmuring sweet nothings in Russian to me right now.
@Agnes
Yes and ...
i'm a smooth criminal.
@VRC
That was a lot, so thank you, and glad to know that you're enjoying whatever it is I happen to say!
@Six
Yes, he's the kind of Russian interference I like .... Russian UN-Dressing.
And all the little tortures I give Carlos are done with love and a whole lotta laughter!
@Helen
Yes,i like Siriano even more now.
And don't you dare give my Russian new pants!
bob bob bob, you are cheating on those points! bad boy!
ReplyDeleteI never really warmed up to oprah or her "gal pal". (wink wink)
Christian Siriano and starbucks - bless you!
fuck harvey and falwell and the entire dump family!
denis - dat ass!
bwhahahahaha to that tweet!
Where do I start with this post:
ReplyDelete*Carlos is getting the short end of the stick. A technical question, are points designated ahead of time for all said chores? I would be screaming foul if this was not the case. But hey, good friendly competition is fun. I am sure you are aware that where you go on your adventure Carlos is going too. I call it a win/win. Carlos is playing along and smiling as he takes down your SUITCASES.
*To be frank, I never cared for Gayle K. She is not a well-rounded reporter and is into both sides thing. She does not want to offend so she is bland. Sometimes you have to let the facts speak for themselves and address them head-on. The other side, at times, is less relevant. Don't piss on my leg and then tell me it is raining outside. I had a hunch when CBS revamped the show they were not going to get rid of her. They get a two for one with her-Oprah and Gayle. Her salary doubled when renegotiations came along. I don't care for the shtick of being afraid of everything. Also, it is always about her. I know she pissed off Nora O. on a few occasions where she was not playing by the TEAM rules. Fun fact. She wanted to be on The View but Barbra W. said no. Barbra knew that Gayle comes with Oprah.
*Jerry F. did not "invite" the students and employees back to the fake college. They were "told", "mandated." There is no choice. I am sure that if people don't comply there will negative consequences.
*Starbucks-I am certain that PR folks told them if they did not do a social good here it would dramatically affect their bottom line when the pandemic is all over. Could they afford it? I am quite certain.
*Denis is cute. I am from the old school. All this shaving to the inch of your live and buff thing is just too much. I look at guys like these Instagram accounts and 99.9% of the posts are of them. Too much.
*Harvey-Poor guy. Only a mother could love. He deserves everything he got and then some.
*Kristie-Gave up on her long ago. She whines too much for me. The tweet was a burn. She is not relevant.
OK-Back to our regularly scheduled programming. Take care of Carlos. Be safe. Oh yes, thanks for all your hard work on our behalf. It is my daily highlight.
XO
Edited for clarity---
The Tweet about Kristi was so... relevant.
ReplyDeleteYou watch, all those Crazy Christians are going to throw their support behind the Idiot Jerk, no doubt because he's told them that if they don't he's going to start collecting their souls.
Dear Lord, I wonder how many hospital employees know they're going to be wearing designer masks.
Did Carlos have any idea how this competition was going to work? Um, stunning Denis Suraev... steroids much? Fine people: Kevin Johnson, Chuck Schumer, Christian Siriano!
ReplyDelete