It's Snarkurday!

Kate del Castillo is the actress who accompanied Sean Penn to interview international drug lord Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzmán last year, but now Penn is trying to get Kate’s documentary about their trip—The Day I Met El Chapo: The Kate Del Castillo Story—removed from Netflix.  Why you ask? Perhaps it has something to do with del Castillo’s revelation that, right after meeting El Chapo, she and Penn banged because, you know, meeting a drug lord turns folks on:

“It was never a relationship. It was just business. And sex.”

In her documentary, del Castillo says she “fell” for Penn during their adventure, but Penn wants nothing to do with that storyline, and had one of his lawyers send a letter to Netflix saying “that blood will be on their hands if this film causes bodily harm.”

Wow. But they didn’t let the drama end there; Penn’s spokesman Mark Fabiani says:

“This is not about one person’s safety. These producers are propagating false and reckless fabrications for their profit. This is nothing but a cheap, National Enquirer-esque tale spun by a delusional person whose hunger for fame is both tawdry and transparent.”

Wait, so Sean Penn believes that people will die if this story stays out there; this story of him banging some D-list actress-documentarian? I mean, if every time Sean Penn banged an actress someone died, we’d all be dead by now. Am I right?

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Lock up your wives and daughters, sister and aunts, Harvey Weinstein is out of sex addiction rehab and he’s cured.

After one week at a posh rehab facility in Arizona for “sex addiction”—exposing himself to women, jacking off in front of women, grabbing women, climbing on women, attempting to rape women—the ladies now have nothing to worry about. After a quarter of a century of sexual harassment, of sexual assault, Harvey’s fixed himself.

Weinstein’s doctor—who may or may not be an unemployed actor looking for any kind of a break—says Harvey completed his one week of treatment for “psychological issues” and was ready to return to society fully cured.

Of course, when people began to question the validity of the One Week Cure, it was decided that Harvey will remain in Arizona for another month because “he doesn’t want excessive distractions and wants to continue working with his doctors.”

Oh, so it’s a Five Week Cure? Seriously; it’s classic white privilege because if Harvey Weinstein was a different color he’d have been in prison years ago.

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Someone check the video and get the police to confirm Taylor Swift’s alibi for where she was last Wednesday night because that was the night that, during Katy Perry’s concert in Nashville the shiz hit the fan.

It seems there was a bit of a malfunction junction at Perry’s show when, after performing “Thinking Of You,” Perry’s tie-dyed version Saturn got stuck in the air and she couldn’t get down; and Perry said:

“This is the first time I’ve been stuck in space! I know I’m kind of a space cadet, but actually, this thing is being stuck right now.”

No word yet on where Swifty was or why she was last seen carrying A Hello Kitty Tool-box.

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Oops!  Ewan McGregor has been caught kissing his “Fargo” co-star, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, in a London restaurant, and Ewan’s wife just might not be thrilled about it. It seems the 46-year-old father of four and the 32-year-old Winstead—who played his lover on the FX series—shared a passionate kiss at the Good Life Eatery and there are pictures to prove it.

Maybe this was Ewan’s of telling his wife their marriage was over because the Good Life Eatery is London’s version of LA’s Ivy, where celebrities go to be seen; it was at the Ivy during the height of their Bennifer-ness that Affleck and JLo often visited dressed to the nines and looking all lovey-dovey.

Perhaps, though, it’s all stuff and nonsense, because McGregor and his wife of 22 years, Eve Mavrakis, apparently called it quits in May but kept the news private, though they each posted photos to social media of themselves without their wedding rings on, which, you know, is the way of saying “It’s over.”

So maybe Ewan isn’t a cheater, maybe he just got a new love first except ... it was back in May, right about the time Fargo finished shooting that McGregor and his wife split, and that was the same time that Winstead announced her split from her husband of seven years, Riley Stearns.

Just sayin’.

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Gosh, Kathy Griffin will do anything for press.

This time she announced that she is firing celebrity attorney Lisa Bloom, who represented her after she held up a fake bloody head of _____, and stood by her side as she went rogue during a press conference. And in typical Griffin fashion she went all over social media to share the news that she fired her attorney:

“Dear @LisaBloom pls stop calling me. If you’d like to refund me the tens of thousands of $$ I wasted on your services maybe I’ll talk to you.”

Griffin ALLEGEDLY paid Bloom $40,000 to represent her for two days, most notably at that June press conference, where Griffin whined that she was the victim of bullying by the _____ family over that photograph. And of course, because this is two dimwits having a spat, Bloom lashed back with her own tweet in which she said in a lengthy statement that Griffin had reached out to her before the press conference:

“Her entire team (entertainment lawyer, criminal lawyer, and several others) approved in advance the statements she and I were going to make. Yet Kathy then during the press conference spontaneously chose to put aside the notes we had worked so hard on together. She said on camera ‘my notes are by the wayside and it’s all off the cuff’ and then ad libbed. I was sorry she made that choice but I respected her right to speak as she saw fit. She was, as she says, the widely panned for her comments. Now she blamed me.”

Of course she did, because Griffin does things and then blames everyone else for the repercussions.

She really needs to sit down.

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Faye Dunaway used to be a serious actress and was most often taken seriously ... then came Mommie Dearest and she either turned into a parody of Joan Crawford diva-ness, or else the diva-ness was already there and was only exacerbated by playing Christina’s axe-wielding mother. And now the weave workers at the Marie Robinson Salon in NYC have their own tale to tell.

Apparently Miss Dunaway believes she was overcharged for services rendered and went all wire-hanger on the salon when they presented her with a $3,000 bill and expected her, Miss Faye Dunaway, to pay full price!

“She claimed she didn’t know it was that expensive and then said, ‘I’m not paying that. I can’t believe how expensive this is. I’m only paying half!’… they took her half, but staff explained, ‘You’re going to have to pay the rest.’ And Faye stormed out screeching, ‘This is ridiculous!’ Everyone in the salon was aghast … Her hair looked great — so she should pay!”

Um, Faye, honey? Maybe when they began adding a full head of hair onto your head you might have pointed out you just wanted a retouch?

Dunaway is now doing damage control herself, telling Page Six:

“I’d prefer you not run [the story]. I’ve now paid the whole thing — but I will not be going back there because it is not the price they said it would be. So, I don’t know what to say to you except I didn’t throw a fit. I was just very alarmed at the amount they were charging me for the very small amount of hair work that they did.”

The salon said nothing; they just cashed the check before the stop payment went through.

Poor Faye; the two biggest highlights of her career are playing Joan Crawford so well that she started to think and act like her, and for blurting out the wrong Best Picture winner at this year’s Oscars.

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Last year Miles Teller did and interview with   Esquire in which the magazine called him “dickish.” And so he became the new Dickish Actor and is now telling us that it’s bothered him the whole time because ... oh, let’s have him tell it:

“I can’t put much weight into whether the public likes me because the more important thing is that, as an actor, I can truly say that there’s not a single director or actor who I’ve worked with who’d have a bad thing to say about me. I’ve never missed a day of work. I’ve never not known a line. ... I know the kind of brother I am. I know the kind of son I am. I’ve had the same friends since I was 14, 15. I’ve been with the same girl for four-and-a-half years. I have a dog. I know who I am, and it’s not who I was in that story.”

Wait, so he shows up to work on time, has a girlfriend and a dog and that makes him less dickish?

Try again, Miles.

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Oops, sexual harassment isn’t just a Hollywood problem; it’s everywhere, including the kitchen ...

New Orleans star chef John Besh is stepping down from his company, Besh Restaurant Group [BRG], after he and several of his colleagues were accused of sexual harassment. In a letter to restaurant staff, BRG announced that Besh was stepping down “from all aspects of operations . . . to provide his full focus on this family.”

Meaning he’s got some ‘splaining to do.

A lot, because there are some twenty-five woman who say that “several male co-workers and bosses [at BRG] touched female employees without consent, made suggestive comments about their appearance and—in a few cases—tried to leverage positions of authority for sex.”

One former employee claims she was pressured into a sexual relationship with Besh, though the married father says the affair was consensual ... which makes it okay ... ?

Seriously, men need to stop this shiz, and women need to speak up more.

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Eight years ago, The Weinstein Company announced they were working on a feature film about Judy Garland, based on the book Get Happy: The Life of Judy Garland, and was supposed to star ... gulp ... Anne Hathaway.

Eight years later that project went nowhere until recently when it was announced that a different Judy Garland biopic will be made and will star ... double gulp ... Renee Zellweger. The movie will be called Judy and will focus on Judy Garland’s final sold-out concerts at The Talk of the Town in London in the late ’60s shortly before her death.

Seriously? Renee will be Judy? I mean, I know they don’t want an impersonator but that up there—before and after plastic surgery—is supposed to be Judy Mother-Effing Garland?

Even with her new face she ain’t no Judy. Zellweger ruins everything.

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