I Ain't One To Gossip But .... Girls Gone Wild

There have always been lots of rumors about why Gwyneth Paltrow and her luggage carrier, Chris Martin — I hear he sings, too — “consciously uncoupled.” Some say he cheated; some say she cheated; some say — okay everybody says — she’s a controlling out-of-touch diva bitch.

Well, now it looks as if Gwynnie’s jump-off has been revealed, and it’s none other than Glee co-creator Brad Falchuk, which may explain why she’s been on that show more often than Matthew Morrison lately.

See, right  after Paltrow’s first appearance on Glee back on Oh-Ten, rumors began to swirl that she and Brad’s relationship had moved beyond friendship to something a little more touchy-feely, bumping uglies, especially where their respective spouses were concerned.

Brad and his wife, Suzanne Bukinik, have also “consciously uncoupled” and, in fact, her name no longer appears on Falchuk’s Wikipedia page; seriously! And, according to their divorce papers, filed by the missus, the date of separation is “to be determined.”

As in, it depends on when Gwyneth first showed up on the set of Glee and demanded my husband service her.

Or something.

A bit ago, I talked about former  TV star and current nobody, Tia Mowry, complaining that A-lister Charlize Theron was rude to her  at SoulCycle; a recap: Tia went to say Hi to Charlize and Theron “actually rolled her eyes and said, ‘Oh my God.’”

And now it might get worse, because now that Tia opened her D-list yap, rumor has it that  Theron is actively working to get Mowry banned from the upscale spin studio.

An insider — and it’s probably Tia looking for another paycheck — says, “Charlize came in so pissed off after Tia went to the tabloids about her, and she demanded we bar Tia from ever coming back. When the manager refused Charlize just got angrier and said she’d go to the top to make it happen.”

And she will; she’s got Sean Penn to back her up; you know, the guy who tied up Madonna back in the day, and not in the fun way!

Lindsay Lohan:

“People have certain perceptions of me. For a long time, people looked at me as kind of a celebrity, which is something I never wanted…That’s not what I got into this industry for… And what better than to do it with the great people that I’m working with on stage in London … so that people can focus on the fact that I’m in this industry because I’m an actress and an artist and not just someone you take photos of? I don’t understand the crazy fascination with me because it kind of scares me. Even when I’m not doing anything, they create something that I’m doing…”

And yet all we’ve seen of Lindsay of late is not Lohan in London prepping for her stage debut next month, but yachting in the Mediterranean looking like a drunk-ass mess. Lindsay has been partying nearly non-stop for the past month in Europe, and last week, in Greece, she seemed to welcome the paparazzi to take photos of her.

And now her friends — okay, it’s just Dina and Michael wondering about their dividends from the play — are worried because Lohan isn’t returning their texts or calls, and are thinking of staging an intervention.

A source — and it’s Dina, unless it’s being sung with a country twang, then it’s Ali Lohan — says, “Lindsay has abandoned her friends and her sober community. She has stopped responding to our texts and calls and is basically ignoring everyone now. She’s getting the texts because they show up as read; she’s just not answering.”

And now it seems that Lohan has ALLEGEDLY been missing rehearsals for her upcoming play.

But seriously, did anyone really think Lohan would stop partying to go to work?

Apparently Kendall Jenner was rude to a waitress and because she’s been influenced by Kash Kow and Kanye, she has flipped her weave about it.

It seems Kendall and a friend ate at a NYC restaurant and they didn’t pay for their meal at first. The waitress rushed outside, followed them, and asked them to pay their tab, when Kendall, okay ALLEGEDLY, threw a few twenties at the girl and the catwalk-stomped off.

Then the waitress went to Twitter to complain — “That horrible moment you chase a Kardashian down the street because she forgot to pay her bill to be thrown money in your face.” — about Kendall’s Kardastrophic behavior  and, well, Kendall threw a fit., denying the incident. And you know when a Kardastrophe, even one by association, denies something, it’s probably true; think Kim and her second marriage;’ think Khloe and her first marriage.

Anyway, it seems like Kendall wasn’t content to simply deny the waitress’s account of things and move on because now she’s had her lawyer — probably That Woman dressed like Clarence Darrow — fire off a cease-and-Desist letter.

Funny thing is, no one, and I mean no one, would have known this story if Kendall hadn’t had a TwitFit because the waitress probably had about six followers. But Kendall probably searches Twitter for the #skanktag, er, #hashtag, Kardastrophe every morning and when she found it she had a MiniKimye Meltdown.

Miley Cyrus. Wha’happen?

I mean, after twerking on Robin Thicke’s crotch last year—before all those other women twerked on him and his wife left him—she’s been MIA. Or at least, except for her hospitalization for drug overdose exhaustion last summer we’ve been Miley Free.

Until now … a new story is out about Miley being “out of control” again and acting so redneck she make’s Britney Spears seem positively civilized.

Apparently Miley was a terror during a recent trip to NYC while staying at the chi-chi Greenwich Hotel and was such a wee bitch brat that guests began to complain:  “It was like a tornado hit the lobby,” says one guest. “Miley and her posse took over, screaming and carrying on so much that management received a number of complaints.”

The guests adds that Miley and her group were busily smoking pot in the hash den  lobby and when the management stepped in to politely ask the White Trash Diva to calm the eff down, she started screaming at them and saying that she’s spent so much money there that they should be glad to have her.

Glad to have her pack her cardboard suitcase, get back on the Greyhound, and hightail it back to Butcher Holler.