Monday, October 09, 2023

The More Things Change The More They Stay The Same …

This week openly gay Congressman Mark Pocan, a Wisconsin Democrat, posted a story to Twitter—I refuse to call it X—that emphasized just how different things were for LGBTQ+ people not even three decades ago … and how much the same things are today.

Pocan has a framed pair of rubber gloves in his office due to an incident that occurred in 1995, when he and 49 other out gay elected officials were invited to the White House:

While serving alongside now-Senator Tammy Baldwin on the Dane County Board of Supervisors in 1995, we were invited to the Clinton White House for a celebration of openly gay elected officials.

We headed to Washington and after some sightseeing, finally got to take a tour of the White House. As we came through the metal detectors, we noticed the security personnel wearing rubber gloves.

This took place shortly after the Oklahoma City Bombing, so we assumed security was taking extra precautions to protect themselves from increased radiation.

Not thinking much of it, we continued through the afternoon of meetings where we ultimately discovered the real reason for the gloves.

The security officials were wearing gloves out of fear that they would contract AIDS from one of the openly gay elected officials visiting the White House.

In 1995, there was still a lot of ignorance surrounding the AIDS epidemic and LGBTQI+ individuals on a larger scale.

Later that evening, Vice President Gore made a point to come around and shake all of our hands, demonstrating that this was not the official position of the Clinton White House.

A few weeks later, I received a signed letter from the president apologizing for what we had encountered at the entrance.

It’s been more than 25 years since that historic meeting of out elected officials at the White House. I held onto the invitation and the apology letter — neither of which said the word “gay” — and still have them framed in my office with a pair of those rubber gloves.

This year as we celebrate LGBTQI+ History Month, I look at them and remember how much progress we’ve made and the work we still have to do.

Whether it’s a pair of gloves, or a slew of educational gag orders seeking to ban conversations on sexual orientation and gender identities, our work to protect LGBTQI+ individuals will not be done until equality is finally and fully realized.”

The Washington Post reported on the incident in 1995 and noted that Secret Service Director Eljay Bowron regretted the “unfortunate actions” of the Secret Service agents, saying it was “not the policy of the Secret Service to wear gloves merely based on known sexual preference,” and promised a “special training session directed specifically at these matters.”

Refusing to touch people in normal and socially accepted ways has long been one of the many microaggressions faced by LGBTQ+ people, whose bodies have often been labeled disgusting or toxic. More than half of the LGBTQ+ respondents to a 2009 Lambda Legal survey on medical discrimination said that they had experienced microaggressions in a medical setting that included, among others, “health care professionals refusing to touch them or using excessive precautions.”

Sidenote: back in the 1990s Carlos was trying to get life insurance and took a physical as part of the process. His doctor called him and told him he needed to come in for a talk. Carlos arrived at the office, the last appointment for the day, and the nurse talked to him from behind the glass partition—he thought it was because the office was closing. He sat and waited to see the doctor and when he was finally called in he sat across the desk from his doctor scarcely looked at him and said:

“I’m sorry, Mr. Harris, you have AIDS and there’s nothing I can do for you.”

And that was it; nothing can be done for you. Carlos got up and left the office while a nurse came in with gloves to clean the chair he sat in, the part of the desk he touched. In the waiting room a nurse was cleaning the doorknobs and the counter and where he sat while waiting to see the doctor.

On the upside, Carlos instantly found a doctor who deals with HIV and was prescribed medications; after we moved to South Carolina, he found a doctor here who is managing his HIV. He is, and has been, undetectable for thirty-plus years.

And these Don’t Say Gay laws and anti-trans laws and banning drag laws are still doing that today, making us feel like we don’t belong, like we are somehow dirty and dangerous and riddled with disease and not worthy of being touched.

The march goes on …

LGBTQ Nation

44 comments:

  1. It seems like The Bad Old Days are coming around again, this time based on Gender Identity.

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    1. Sad that some people always need someone to fear AKA hate.

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  2. I was shocked by Pocan’s story but absolutely dumbfounded and infuriated by Carlos' story. And I’ve seen and heard a lot.

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    1. I was always surprised, when Carlos told me his story, that he didn't get angry, he just got busy finding a good doctor, and he was lucky enough to find not one, but two.

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  3. Thanks for sharing these stories, Bob.

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    1. It's amazing how many people today still act the way the Secret Service and that doctor did 30 years back!

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  4. Cleora Borealis10:33 AM

    I hope that big virtual hugs have some kind of power because you and Carlos sure do have mine!! 🤗

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  5. Things do change; when I was young gay meant happy and joyful, two meanings that can still applied today to those who are gay. I knew nothing about anything other than heterosexual sex. Now I know more; it doesn't change the way I see people, I see people as individuals, not judging them on who they choose to go to bed with. Why would I? It's nothing to do with me and sexual choice does not change who you are, which is what counts. But there is still a long road ahead for everyone who faces discrimination.

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    1. Sadly, most people judge others based on their own ignorance and fear.

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  6. Anonymous11:26 AM

    the dog's mother
    (Carlos and Bob)
    xoxo :-)

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  7. Excellent post. A reminder not to forget, a warning not to give up.

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  8. I've never heard that story about the White House and the rubber gloves. In some ways I don't think it's ever going to change. Will we ever see a day where it's going to be 100% acceptable and things like this will not cross people's minds? I suspect not, I mean look at our black folk still going through what their going through.

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    1. It won't change until more people are educated and outnumber the ignorant.

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  9. Thank you for this post. It is a good reminder of the things that still need to change.

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    1. Always room for education.
      You know that first hand as an educator! We have to keep teaching people.

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  10. aussieguy5:10 PM

    The ignorance, or just the sheer lack of even wanting to understand, is appalling.

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  11. Ignorance is fine IF you seek to understand and educate yourself.

    Your story reminds me of working for Kaiser Permanente from 1989-1995. I worked as a Urology Technician for a 3 physician practice in Dallas. I remember one time I observed a physician I was responsible for wiping down the exam room with bleach. He was going to town. I approached him and asked him what he was doing. He said our last patient was gay/HIV positive and he wanted to ensure other patients were safe. I was astonished and set back on my heels. I had to educate this smart physician with excellent bedside manner. I was so offended. He knew I was gay. Let's just say the next few days were touch and go for us.

    Oh yes, I forgot. He a very religious man and ran his family with an iron fist. Quick story- I knew there was very limited television time in the home. I recall one time his wife dropped the 3 kids off-all under the age of 10. The mother left and I asked the kids if they wanted to watch the TV in the waiting room. They knew all the channels but were afraid. I said don't worry I will let you know when Dad comes back from doing surgery. I called the operating room and asked the nurse if she would call the office when he finished.

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    1. Sadly, most ignorant people are unaware, or unwilling to be aware, of their ignorance.
      We still need education on HIV and AIDS to this very day because stupid can last forever.

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  12. Those who do not think are condemned to repeat history.
    So do ignorants.
    It's appalling how CLOSE we are to being back in 1995. Really. The same scare tactics, the same dog whistles, the same fuckery.

    So sorry that happened to Carlos, BTW. I have friends who have been undetectable since 1990 and are still living their best lives.

    XOXO

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    1. You are so right about repeating history.
      And one of the great things about Carlos is that after leaving that doctor's office, he researched and found a great HIV doctor in Miami, and when we moved here THAT doctor recommended the doctor he has now. And he's doing great!
      xoxo

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  13. Through this post you are giving me more education so you must be a teacher Bob! Thank you.

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    1. I think we are all teachers when we share stories. We can all learn from one another is we just listen ...

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  14. A lot of people never lived through those dark days.

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    1. Which is why they need reminding.

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  15. I hadn't heard the story about the dinner at the White House - though I suppose I wasn't really as aware of the politics of your country at that time. It is really sad, that the Secret Service was so afraid, but clearly didn't voice their concerns ahead of time. Perhaps some education pre-event would have helped.
    As for Carlos, good on him for finding a good doctor. The lack of empathy from some medical professionals is still an issue.

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    1. You're right, education is key.
      And Carlos did get lucky in finding TWO good doctors, the one in Miami and the one here in South Carolina.

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  16. It is important that History and these stories NOT be whitewashed and altered becoz ignorance of Bad History means we are likely doomed to repeat it. I know that in my Lifetime so much has changed and headway made, when I tell some personal stories of how it was, some people are in disbelief, since, it wasn't their experience so they just assume it was nobody's. I have to remind them that the Good Ole Days were not Good for everyone and that many injustices and atrocities have been committed in our Nation's History and by omission many don't know about any of it. We knew the first person in Arizona who Died of AIDS, our Friend Pierre, his Widow was not allowed to just transport his Body for Burial as was their Religious preference, she HAD to cremate him, due to the Fears at the time. He should have been buried in Louisiana where he was from and had a Family Plot. His Widow and Children had to go where nobody knew them to avoid the stigma of how he Died, people treated them like they had Leprosy.

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    1. It's sad the way people are treated out of fear and ignorance from others.

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  17. Let us hope we keep marching and don't fall from attrition or gunshot.

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    1. Marching and educating those who came after, and some of those who were here all along. Knowledge is power.

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  18. Anonymous11:01 PM

    Keep telling the story. It is necessary. The story puts a name and a face on this. As I think we've already seen with the repeal of the Voting Rights Act and other civil rights protections, the battle is never over. Constant vigilance is necessary to maintain any progress.

    So sorry to be Debbie Downer.

    Will Jay

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    1. No, the battle is never over which is why we keep speaking and educating and marching and voting.

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  19. I find it horrendous that people have to disclose their sexuality in any case!! I mean, what the hell??? Then again, I refused to get jabbed when covid hit (because I had had very serious adverse reactions previously) and the rejection was pretty hard here in France, even though Pfizer eventually admitted at the European Parliament that that had never actually tested to see if the jab prevented contamination (see Rob Roos v. Janine Small on 10 October 2022). People can be such cowards!

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    1. Sadly, if the LGBTQ+ community didn't disclose their orientations, we would still be closeted, still see as "them," still seen as less than. The more we're out the more people come to understand and accept.

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  20. It is shocking to think how we were treated not so long ago. (And that those reactions persist in some people today!) Honestly, we've come a long way, but there sure are a lot of people who would love to drag us right back into the closet.

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    1. And many of us are still treated that way, or treated worse by Don't Say Gay bills and such; and anti-drag nonsense.,

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  21. I love Carlos more than ever now. He was so brave to get out there and find a better doctor. I would have been so depressed I would have gone to bed and stayed there.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. I agree 100%; he didn't wallow in what that idiot MD said, he took back the power and found good doctors.
      xoxo

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