Random Musings

So, last week American Olympic swimmers, from left, Jimmy Feigen, Gunnar Bentz, Ryan Lochte, and Jack Conger, said they had been robbed at gun-point near the Olympic Village.

Uh-huh; maybe not.

Police in Rio de Janeiro have been unable to find any evidence that corroborates the account given by Lochte and Friends who ALLEGEDLY never called the police. Officers only began investigating after they saw media reports in which Lochte’s mother spoke about the robbery.

Police interviewed Lochte and Feigen who said they had been intoxicated and could not remember what type and color of taxi they rode in or where the robbery happened, or even what time the event occurred. In addition, Lochte has since changed his story about having a gun pointed at his head to the gunmen waving a gun around. Plus, surveillance video of Lochte and Friends arriving back at the Olympic Village shows the men joking with one another, laughing and playing. Lochte has already left Rio, but Feigen remains in Brazil.

This whole mess sounds fishy as hell … on Lochte’s part. Maybe his Olympic Blue Hair dye seeped into his noggin.

It appears that Lochte, Conger, Bentz, and Feigen did lie about that robbery because they had just trashed a gas station bathroom, faced off with a security guard and were forced to shell over all their cash to cover the damages.

That term Ugly Americans? It applies to Lochte, Conger, Bentz and Feigen.

So, back in the day, #CrookedDonaldRump owed some $30 million in taxes to the state of New Jersey. The state’s auditors and lawyers had been battling for several years to collect the long-overdue taxes owed by the [t]Rump casinos and had pursued the matter through two of the casinos’ bankruptcy cases and even accused the company led by [t]Rump of filing false reports with state casino regulators about the amount of taxes it had paid.

But then Chris Christie became governor and suddenly the state seemed interested in settling the case; and they did; after six years in court, the state agreed to accept just $5 million of the original $30 million.

Now, to be fair there are times when tax authorities settle for lesser amounts to avoid the costs and risks of further litigation, but the steep discount granted to the Trump casinos and the relationship between the two men raise inevitable questions about special treatment.

Just sayin’, where’s there’s smoke, there’s a fat man and a greedy bastard making a deal.

Speaking of [t]Rump, remember a few years back when he said he knew Putin personally? And remember how, when that story came to light, suddenly [t]Rump said he had no personal relationship with Vlad?

Funny, then, that [t]Rump’s daughter, Ivanka, is “vacationing” in Croatia with Vladimir Putin’s girlfriend, Wendy Deng Murdoch, Rupert's ex.

Still just sayin’.

Last week, I posted some pictures from the Shallow End of hot athletes at the Rio games and how I ever missed Brazilian gymnast Arthur Nory Mariano I do not know.

He is dimples from head to know, except for that rocking body. He’s like a younger, cuter, sexier, less virulently Republican, Dean Cain.

And, speaking of Rio, remember that Daily Beast story about outing gay athletes at the games ... HERE? And remember The Daily Beast saying they were just so LGBT-friendly?

Then why not, instead of outing athletes, print the story of gay British track and field athlete Tom Bosworth proposing to his boyfriend Harry Dineley on the beach in Rio?

Wouldn’t that have made a better story?

Maybe this is why Donald [t]Rump is so pissed off at Hillary Clinton …

According to an excerpt from Joe Conason’s upcoming book, Man of the World: The Further Endeavors of Bill Clinton, [t]Rump expected to be invited to Chelsea Clinton’s wedding in 2010 and he wasn’t.

Cue histrionics. [t]Rump, who hosted a Reluctant Bill and Hillary at his third wedding in 2005, figured he was a shoe-in for an invite to Chelsea’s nuptials, and since he had given Bill Clinton free access to [t]Rump National, his Westchester golf club, Trump National, where he proudly hung photos of Clinton, [t]Rump figured they owed him. So when the wedding invitation didn’t arrive, he began calling people trying to get an invitation:

“I’m supposed to be at the wedding … but I didn’t receive the invitation, and I need to know where to go.”

He was given the run around and eventually realized he would not be a guest so he did what [t]Rump does … he called the wedding venue “tacky”.

Hell hath no fury like a [t]Rump scorned.

And speaking or excrement …

How many times have you used the bathroom and felt like you’d lost about ten pounds after doing your bidness?

Well, now, my friends, you’ll be able to know exactly how much weight you lose after taking a dump with the new Toilet Seat Scale.

Yes, it’s real; the toilet seat has a built-in scale designed to let you know your pre-dump weight and your post-dump weight. Now, after using the toilet, you’ll know for certain you can fit into your new jeans!

The Toilet Seat Scale! Get yours today!

And while we’re on the subject of huge dumps … Rudy Giuliani.

New York City’s former mayor stumped for [t]Rump last week and apparently forgot about the worst terror attack in American history, claiming that there simply had been no such assaults inside America during the presidency of George W. Bush:

“Under those eight years, before Obama came along, we didn’t have any successful radical Islamic terrorist attack inside the United States. They all started when Clinton and Obama got into office.”

Yes, Giuliani conveniently forgot about the attacks upon which he based an unsuccessful presidential run; he forgot, conveniently, about 3,000 dead Americans just so he could take a pot shot at Obama and Hillary Clinton whilst keeping his thin lizard lips pressed firmly to [t]Rump anus.

Seriously, that pig is the lowest human being on the planet.

Lastly … it looks like no more season’s of Caitlyn Jenner’s E! reality show I Am Cait.

It’s been cancelled:

“Caitlyn and E! have mutually decided not to move forward with another season at this time. She will always remain a part of the E! family, and we look forward to continue following her journey as she appears on Keeping Up With the Kardashians.”

Um, yeah, I’ll call bull shiz on this one because you just know that media whore Caitlyn Jenner was not at all happy that her little spin off bit the dust and she'll be back on KUWTK quicker than you can say, “Where’s my camera?”