I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Last week I joked about Miss Justine Bieber’s Tweet’s that she was ‘retiring’ from music and how that would be a good thing.

And maybe it’s true. It seems that The Bieb’s new documentary, Believe, which premiered on Christmas day, is a certified bomb and may have sparked the foot-stomp-head-snap-I-quit Tweet.

BoxOfficeMojo.com reports that “Believe” opened in 14th place, earning only $1.25 million, far below Miss Bieber’s last “documentary” “Never Say Never,” which made some $14 million on day one.

Like I said, maybe that retirement Tweet was the real deal.

Christmas!

So last week came the news that Tori Spelling’s husband, Dean McDermott, was cheating on her with some woman — Emily Goodhand ... hee hee goodhand — he met in Canada.

Sound familiar? Yeah, kinda cuz that's where the then-married-to-someone-else Dean and the then-married-to-someone-else Tori started banging each other a few years back. So, is it any surprise that Dean schtupped some other woman on another recent trip to Canada; I mean, it's his MO. But now it's come back home, where Tori is making his life unbearable because he's a serial cheater ... ALLEGEDLY.

Publicly, Tori refuses to talk about Dean’s cheating because she doesn’t want to shatter the image of “picture perfect family” and she has also refused to let Dean move out for that same reason, but is making his life hell at home. To keep that picture painted, she even posted a cheerful Christmas message to her, um, fans:

“As another year comes to a close, I can’t help but feel so grateful for all of my blessings. My beautiful family, my amazing friends, and of course, all of you!”

And she signed the ecard:  “T, Dean, Liam, Stella, Hattie + Finn.”

Like I said, no surprise that Dan cheats; that's how he met wife#2.

And now, maybe the aptly named Goodhand will be wife#3 until Dean heads back to Canada... 

Last December, Keri Russell announced she had left her husband of seven years, Shane Deary.

It wasn’t a big deal since the last time Keri Russell made any real news was when she cut her hair back in the 90s. But, um, yeah, now there might be a story there. It seems there’s a rumor going around that Keri might have been banging her costar in The Americans, Matthew Rhys.

There have been multiple sightings of Russell getting’ cozy with Rhys popping up all over the place, with a lot of them appearing just as Russell announced that her marriage was kaput.

I was going to say more about this but, well, it’s Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys, so even I don’t ca—

So Dwyane Wade is engaged to actress Gabrielle Union. He even bought her an engagement the size of Kim Kardashian’s ass to prove his love for Union. Trouble is, a few months back, while he and Gabby were, ahem, “on a break” Dwyane hooked up with some woman and, yeah, she’s the mother of one of his children now.

Happy Engagement!

Dwyane has acknowledged that he’s the Baby Daddy but doesn’t want any of you, or Gabby, to forget that the baby was conceived when he and Gabby weren’t together for about a hot minute. And when they got back together, he told her about the pregnancy.  The baby was just 6 weeks old when Wade popped the question to Gabrielle.

But it doesn’t end there; apparently the Dwyane Wade Baby Mama is also the Baby Mama for one of Damon Wayans’ offspring; perhaps she has a thing for men with DW initials?

According to the birth certificate, Wade’s baby mama is 30-year-old Aja Metoyer, and while there are no details about their relationship — other than that baby — it is clear that Aja’s two other children were fathered by “Happy Endings” star Damon Wayans Jr.

Like I said, if you’re a man with the initials DW, run!

So, Beyoncé. I’m not much of a fan because everything about her seems so calculated and wind-machined.

But every so often she goers and does something so idiotic that I have to comment; like a few years back, when she and destiny’s Child recorded a Christmas album that included “Silent Night” and Queen B added a couple of words to the song and listed herself as co-writer.

Of “Silent Night.”

Now, with that new music that she dropped on us unexpectedly comes the story of a track called “XO” and the beginning of the track where you hear a short little audio clip of what sounds like NASA control talking to a space shuttle. Turns out, that’s exactly what it I; it’s an archival audio clip from the Challenger disaster from 1986 that Beyoncé is sampling.

Poor taste, Bey, and now everybody’s piling on.

June Scobee Rodgers, the widow of Dick Scobee, the shuttle commander on the ill-fated STS-51-L mission, is “disappointed” to hear of Beyoncé’s use of the clip:

“We have always chosen to focus not on how our loved ones were lost, but rather on how they lived and how their legacy lives on today.”

And so now Beyoncé’s walking it back:

 “My heart goes out to the families of those lost in the Challenger disaster. The song ‘XO’ was recorded with the sincerest intention to help heal those who have lost loved ones and to remind us that unexpected things happen, so love and appreciate every minute that you have with those who mean the most to you.”

She used a nearly thirty-year-old audio clip as a healing message? Howsabout writing your own damned healing messages, B, instead of taking one that still hurts families today?

And plus, it’s not even a real apology, you know. Where’s the “I’m sorry”? It makes me think she had no idea what the audio clip was about but felt it fit her song so she’d damn well use it.

Cuz it’s all about Beyoncé, you know.

Kris Jenner will never be Mother of the year, we all know that, but it still comes as somewhat of a surprise when you hear what a terrible woman she truly is, and makes sense out of the fact that Wendy Williams, when talking Jenner on her show, always refer to her as “That Woman” or “That Mother.”

It was revealed in the new issue of Cosmo that Kris Jenner one called her nine-year-old daughter Khloe Kardashian the special kind of ugly that can only be fixed with plastic surgery.

From Khloe’s mouth:

“She didn’t mean harm, but when I was around nine I overheard my mom telling her friend I needed a nose job. I was shocked. I hadn’t even thought about it.”

That Mother. A nine-year-old needs a nose job? Kris Jenner needs parenting lessons though it’s far too late for that.

And now Kris is playing the shock-and-awe story about Khloe’s remarks, saying her daughter blindsided her with the news. Note that she isn’t saying she didn’t say it, just that she’s shocked Khloe’s talking about it.

According to a source — and you know it’s Kris Jenner herself — Kris absolutely blindsided by the comments: “She wasn’t given a heads up it was even discussed! Kris has been getting heavily criticized on social media and she has been reading all of the negative comments. She is furious with Khloé for even bringing it up, and thinks it makes her look like a bad mother.”

Um, no Kris, you make yourself look like a bad mother by telling anyone that your child needs plastic surgery and then whoring out another daughter’s sex tape to make a name for yourself.

Speaking of Kris Jenner, it’s no secret that she doesn’t like some members of her extended family because they don’t make any money for her. Like Brody Jenner.

And so i kinda like that he’s been speaking out about how his father, Bruce, is doing so much better now that he and That Mother have split up; and I kinda like how That Woman ain't happy about Brody saying things like:

“He seems like he is doing great. Seems like better than ever.”

Maybe because he’s out from under That Woman’s thumb.

PS That's not really gossip, but I needed an excuse to put up a picture of Brody Jenner. He's hot, like his daddy used to be.

Taylor Swift is in trouble again, but not for meeting a boy, dating a boy, breaking up with a boy, writing as song about the boy … all in one day …. Again

No, this time it’s rocks that have Taylor in the hot seat.

See, Swifty bought a massive house in Watch Hill, Rhode Island and has been doing construction on the property, especially outside, to make the house more private. She’s having a crew move boulders along the coast but the trouble is no one got a permit and the moving of the rocks might eventually affect the coastline.

Environmentally bad, to be sure, but , um, if a pile of rocks means I don’t have to look at Swifty’s Parade of Future Number One Songs drag in and out of the manse, that might be a good thing. No?

PS Is it just me, or does Swifty look a little like a certain horror movie slasher?