I Ain't One To Gossip But ...

Ten years ago, Daniel Radcliffe, AKA Harry Potter, said goodbye to alcohol and committed to a sober life. He was just twenty at the time. Now thirty, he is laying the blame for being a drunk at the feet of … Harry Potter:

“If I went out and if I got drunk, I’d suddenly be aware of there being interest in that because it’s not just a drunk guy. It’s ‘Oh, Harry Potter’s getting drunk in the bar.' It’s inherently funny for people.”

Well, that might be true, but then that would presume that every celebrity who is most well-known for one role would be out getting drunk; but only people with a proclivity for alcoholism are getting drunk and blaming it on a role they played. And then he blamed being a child star:

“They are by that point the breadwinner for their family. So multiple people are now reliant on them continuing to do this job and they feel pressured into it and forced into it.”

Again, though, Dan, I need to disagree, because you are again presupposing that it’s a situation that makes you a drunk—being a child star, in this case—and not your own choices, or your own genetics.

I mean, if being a child star meant you’d turn out to be a drug-addled drunk in public bar hopping loon please explain how Lindsay Lohan stayed sober all these years … or Dana Plato … Dustin Diamond … Amanda Bynes …

Oh, wait, maybe he’s right because … nope, Neil Patrick Harris … Joseph Gordon-Levitt … Natalie Portman … or even Daniel’s Potter co-star Emma Watson. They turned out fine.

So, I’m glad you’re sober Dan, but it wasn’t Potter and it wasn’t child stardom.

It was you.

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And speaking of celebrities at a loss for how the real world works … Gwyneth Paltrow.

Last week, the GOOP Instagram account posted a photo of Paltrow’s $1,000.00 outfit, with the caption: 

“Most days you’ll find GP wearing G.Label with a pair of sneakers—which is one reason we make it an annual tradition to put together a fresh sneaker guide each year. Get ready to cover some serious ground (run, don’t walk).”

 Yes, Paltrow wants y’all to run out and drop a grand on her ugly ass clothes and tennis shows that you can wear while you self-isolate.

And because Paltrow is tone deaf and privileged and unaware of the outside world if it doesn’t feature her, Twitter and Instagram dragged her and GOOP so hard and so long that she was forced to delete the post.

And replaced it with one about working at home without the need for a $1,000 outfit you can get at Walmart or Target for about $30.

Oh, Gwynnie, as we say herein the south: Bless your heart.

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Last we heard about Brandi Glanville, ex-member of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she was engaged in a lesbian affair with RHoBH’s Denise Richards—even though now they both deny there was any muff diving.

So, what’s Brandi to do? Talk about the men who’ve schtupped her. Yes, the woman who became famous because her husband, Eddie Cibrian, was cheating on her with LeAnn Rimes, and rode that story to a “career” in reality TV, is now dishing the dirt about dick.

Recently on the Everything Iconic podcast, Brandi talked about her famous, er, infamous, f**ks, besides Gerard Butler:

“I dated a lot, I made out a lot. I made out with one of the men in ‘The Notebook.’ They were single at the time, that’s all I will say. I can’t say [who].”

And we’ll stop, because clearly it wasn’t Ryan Gosling, because if it was, she’d be shrieking it from a rooftop somewhere near Gosling’s home, so it must have been Billy Connolly, the guy in The Notebook who wasn’t Ryan Gosling. And there’s more:

“I dated Ben Stiller for a little while, he has a giant penis.”

Well, to be fair, Ben did admit on Watch What Happens Live  that he and Brandi went on a couple dates before he was married, and it was “fun”. But Brandi is also insisting that she went out with two of the Friends … but not Chandler Bing:

“We went back to [Matt LeBlanc’s] house, he let his dog lick his ice cream and I was out. I was like, ‘Nope.’ I was totally gonna have sex with him, then the dog licked the ice cream and he licked the ice cream and I was like, ‘I can’t.’”

So, she set her sights on Schwimmer, David Schwimmer:

“He wore makeup. He wore concealer out during the day and it really annoyed me. I understand you’re on set, you’re used to wearing makeup, but I wasn’t used to a man wearing makeup. In the moment, it bothered me.”

Brandi also claims Schwimmer called her a “bigger girl,” even though she only weighed “like 109 pounds.”

Keep in mind, now, that the woman who cried adultery when her husband cheated, clearly did a little cheating herself; and keep in mind that, with the exception of Stiller, who begrudgingly admitted to a “date,” and LeBlanc, who has said not one word about Brandi, that David Schwimmer says she’s clearly lying, and Gerard Butler, when asked about a Glanville hook-up went all Mariah Carey and said:

“Who?”

She isn’t that memorable.

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Britney Spears may screech about working, bitch, she wants y’all to know that she’s done with it.

Apparently BritBrit no longer wants to work because she doesn’t want to continue keeping herself under the conservatorship of her father and earning him any more coins.Britney resents the fact that her dad is given a $10,000 monthly allowance for her finances.

Look., here’s my take: she’s a terrible singer, and a so-so entertainer, and has a history of instability, so if she wants to stay home with her 26-year-old boyfriend, Sam Asghari, I say:

“Work that, bitch.”

I would.

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