Why Is It ...

… that my boss has yet to realize that a work meeting without food should be an email.

… that when you come to my house and I say “Make yourself at home” I mean do a load of laundry and run the vacuum.

… that I am 60% tired and I am also 40% tried.

… that my Mind will say, “Don’t say anything, just let it go. It’s not worth it,” and then my Mouth says, “I just find it funny how …”

… that life is better when you don’t care what other people think.

… that I don’t like to think before I speak because I like to be as surpised as everyone else by what I say.

… that I am already to get off work … tomorrow.

… that I just watched a lady look at my tattoos and clucth her purse so I said to her, “Ma’am, my ankle cost more than your handbag.”

… that I need to get a hurricane named after me because I’ve been a disaster all my life.