Why Is It ...

… that my phone won't auto correct when I have caps lock on? Is it because it assumes I’m angry and doesn't want to get involved?

… that my boss doesn’t get it that I don’t listen. I just smile and nod and hope for the best?

… that sometimes I’ll read a text and think ‘What a psycho’ and then I press ‘Send.’

… that when I offered a friend a sincere compliment on their mustache, she suddenly decided not to be friends anymore?

… that when I’m behind a slow car I steer my car a little to the right so those behind can see it’s not my fault.

… that exercise and extra fries sound so much alike. It’s a plot.

… that when I put thing away in the cupboards I forget where they are, but if I leave it all on the counter I get overwhelmed.

… that the first shot of liquor is so nasty and the next thing you know, so am I?