… that people need to accept
what’s good in their lives … like me, I’m a f*cking delight.
… that we all have that one friend that we literally have to
tell them to ‘be nice’ before we introduce them to a new person; or is that
just directed at me.
… that sometimes I want to call into work and say, ‘My mom said I can’t come.’ … that no one realizes that I
don’t care if I’m not their cup of tea; I’d rather be gasoline and set shiz on
fire.
… that when someone asks me
how I sleep at night knowing there are some people out there that don’t like
me, I say, ‘I sleep with no underwear on in case they want to kiss me ass.’
… that people need to learn that it’s really important,
especially in the morning, to shut up.
… that with so many things
coming back into style, I cannot wait until morals and intelligence start
trending again.
… that more water you drink,
the more bathroom breaks, the lest you work so stay hydrated and follow me for
more work tips.
… that one of my hobbies is
having no time for bullsh*t
… that the other day Carlos
turned to me and said, ‘I was talking to you and you yawned six times. Am I
boring you?” And I said, ‘Those weren’t yawns, they were six unsuccessful
attempts to speak.’ |