Well, F**kuary is over and I took an extra day to get past
it since it threw an extra day at me this year. I have been home for a couple
of weeks now, working and, most importantly, being with Carlos and the cats,
and relaxing as I can.
Although my father went quite quickly, after being given the
“six months to live” prognosis, he left things quite orderly so sorting through
the estate and the probate and such should go quite smoothly. Dad was a lot of
things and organized was high on the list.
I have stopped getting teary-eyed every time someone says, ‘Sorry
for your loss,’ so that’s a step. I did get weepy when the death certificates
arrived because, even though I was by his side when he passed, this makes it
all seem more real. That and the fact that I keep telling myself things I have
to tell my Dad on our phone chats we had before he left us.
And I want to say again that all of your kind thoughts and
words really meant a lot to me and my family. The cards and such that arrived
were very sweet and kind and appreciated.
My brother and I have made an agreement on how to split the
state; he really wants to live in my Dad’s house—he and his wife love the area—while
I, at this time, have little to no desire to visit there again.
In the last four or five years, except for a couple of times
that Carlos and I went out for a visit, my Dad’s house was where I went because
he had his knee replaced and needed help; he had his ankle replaced and needed
help; he had heart surgery; he had health scares; he died. For me, the house
doesn’t hold a lot of happy memories for me and I feel no happy connection to
it.
My father was cremated and his ashes will be spread out to
sea along the Oregon coast in the same area where my mother’s ashes were spread
after she passed, so in my heart they are together as they should be.
This is a quick post just to say Thanks … again … and let
you know that some semblance of posting will begin tomorrow … The Funny Papers …
and though things will be haphazard in the coming weeks I am trying to get back
into it. Sometimes I feel like I can’t do this any longer and other times I
feel like I need to, so it’ll be a challenge.
But I will be commenting again and stopping in to say Hello … |
The phone calls, that so resonates with me, as my mom and I spoke on the phone every Sunday. She'd fill me in on the gossip/news of home and I'd share the news of my kids and I. It took me quite awhile not to pick up the phone on Sunday to call.
ReplyDeleteTime passing makes a difference, though I don't think we ever stop missing those we love.
I do hope you'll be able to gradually ease back into your blogging. I've missed your posts, and I'm certain many others have as well.
Take care!
Those Sunday calls are the hardest to get over.
DeleteI will blog as I can and hope to get myself back into it again once the dust settles.
Welcome back to Blogland Bob! I am pleased to hear that you and your brother have reached a mutually agreed way of tying up your father's affairs. Sometimes such things can end in animosity.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI am hoping it will continue to go smoothly.
Welcome back, Bob. We're all here waiting for you and glad to see you. xx
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer. You, of all people, know what this is like.
DeleteGood to hear from you Bob. Selfishly, I have missed your posts. Have kept you in my thoughts daily. Big hugs to you, Carlos and kitties.
ReplyDeleteThanks Krayolakris! Much appreciated.
DeleteWelcome back. Glad your father's estate is so well organized and that you and your brother are in agreement about the house. Be gentle with yourself during the grieving process and take things easy. Carlos and the cats will be a great comfort, I know.
ReplyDeleteThanks Debra.
DeleteCarlos, and the cats, are my rock.
Welcome back. Great news about the estate, too often that doesn't happen, or it drags out. Looking forward to your wry wit.
ReplyDeleteI'm optimistic that it will go smoothly.
DeleteIt is good to see a post from you. I wish you strength to navigate through the next weeks and months. Enjoy and treasure your time with Carlos & the cats.
ReplyDeleteThanks Michael.
DeleteAnd every moment away from my home and my family ... Carlos and cats ... makes me more aware of how much I need them.
Welcome back, Bob. So glad to see you again.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ellen!
DeleteSo happy to see you writing again, Bob. I’m even more happy that you’re back with Carlos and the cats.
ReplyDeleteAs am I; all of this stuff is just stuff, but the fact that it kept me away from Carlos for a while was the hardest part.
Deletethe dog' mother
ReplyDelete(Bob) and (Carlos and kitties)
Take care, good to see you.
xoxoxoxoxoxox
Thanks TDM
Deletexoxo
Bob! So happy you're back on the air! How wonderful you and Carlos and the little ones could have some time to just be! My Dad's been gone 41 years and I still have thoughts of what our next conversation will cover. Like every time the GQP speaks, I wanna ask him if that's what he fought in 2 wars to protect! The Oregon coast sounds like a great place to spend eternity...is it rocky cliffs and crashing waves? That would be my dream!! 🥰
ReplyDeleteI hear something or something happens and I think, 'I need to tell that to Dad.' And then I remember.
DeleteIt'll take time.
And the Oregon Coast is quite beautiful and a nice resting spot.
So glad to see you return when you can. And that your dealing well. Yes...I agree...when they pass on we know...but when the paper work arrives of various issues it really brings it home...wait...there gone. I know that feeling.
ReplyDeleteIm glad your with us again!!! I bet Carlos and the pusses are happy.
Yes, it hits you when you least expect it.
DeleteSo good to "see" you and hear you're well. Be kind to yourself, and enjoy relaxing with Carlos and the cats. Hugs to you all.
ReplyDeleteI am loving being around Carlos and the cats for these few weeks; it's calming to me.
DeleteI expect when my mother goes one day that it's going to be chaotic because she's not organized
ReplyDeleteStill a lot of chaos, but my Dad did leave some detailed instruction.
DeleteGlad to hear you are doing well. It takes time. Hell even at 88 I still feel like an orphan. The paperwork and estate settling is what drive our loved ones being gone, home. It was when I know I was not going to see William come through the door again.
ReplyDeleteIt's a difficult time, but I am trying to make it easier for both my brother and me.
DeleteIt was nice to see this post come up. You have been missed.
ReplyDeleteThanks Andrew; I appreciate that.
DeleteGood to have you back, Bob. Gigi
ReplyDeleteGood to be back ... part-time, for now, I think.
DeleteCondolences and good wishes for you and your family. When my father in law passed he left his estate to his two sons with the proviso that they not fight over anything. My brother in law and his wife took their half in money and my husband and I took our half in the house and nobody said so much as a cross word. It is an example of clear expectations on everyone’s part and an honest desire to honor my father in law. We are delighted to be living on the land that holds so many memories for my husband and wouldn’t change a thing. I hope from the bottom of my heart your family is able to do the same.
ReplyDeleteThat is the same plan my brother and I have and I'm feeling optimistic it will work out fine.
DeletePeace be with you and with all who loved your father.
ReplyDeleteThank you for that!
DeleteIt's all as individual as you and your Dad's relationship. You may have been down this road before, but it was in a different vehicle and in a different season. Please continue to take care of yourself during this very tender time.
ReplyDeleteWill Jay
Thanks Will.
DeleteSweetpea! My heart is with you. I was happy to see your name/comment, so you know I'm glad you're back. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you.
Deletexoxo
Sorry I'm so late in sending you a message but I knew you were wanting (and needing) your time for yourself and Carlos and...whatever you need. I'm glad you're on your path to the next stage of your life. I hope we continue to have your blog to connect on, but if you need to go in a different direction, we'll understand. It's going on 6 years since my Mom died and I still have thoughts of her daily. The important people in your life never leave you. Welcome back, Bob.
ReplyDeleteThanks.
DeleteI've found that having something to distract me helped me get through the loss of my family. I hope you manage to think of all the good times and get distracted when you can't. I am sure Carlos will help with the distractions. That man is a diamond.
ReplyDeleteI agree about the distractions and Carlos truly is a diamond; I consider myself beyond lucky.
DeleteWelcome back. I've missed you--a lot.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie