 |
You read about these celebrity divorces and the things they fight over … cars, homes, embryos, horse semen.
Wait, you didn’t know? It looks like William Shatner recently finalized his divorce from Emily, his wife of eighteen years. Shatner had Emily sign a pre-nup to keep her hands off his Star Trek coins, but she’ll get some money, don’t you worry; what she won’t get, though, is the horse semen.
Shatner gets two of the former couple’s horses, Renaissance Man’s Medici and Powder River Shirley, along with two dogs, Macchiato and Double Espresso, and has asked for, and will receive, “all horse semen” and horse equipment used for breeding the animals. Elizabeth, meanwhile, got horses Belle Reve’s So Photogenic and Pebbles in the settlement, but no cum. She will get two homes, one in Malibu Cove and one is Versailles, Kentucky.
But again, the horse semen stays with Shatner.
|
 |
Over the weekend, Oprah Winfrey took her Oprah Presents Oprah’s 2020 Oprah Vision: Oprah Says Get Your Oprah Life in Oprah Focus …. Oprah, to LA and spoke to her minions about finding balance in your life––even when you are a billionaire—when it happened …
Oprah lost her balance and tumbled to the ground.
Karma, sitting in the back row, stood up and cheered.
Oprah then blamed it on her shoes, and then sent her flying monkeys out to buy a shoe factory so she could sell them at intermission and make some more coins.
|
 |
Maroon 5 performed at the Viña del Mar festival in Chile last week and it was ALLEGEDLY the worst concert ever performed by a bunch of aging wannabes. In fact, it was so awful Adam Levine, head wannabe, took to social media to apologize.
It all began when Maroon 5 was late to the performance, and two TV presenters had to kill time until they decided to show up; and then, while they, um, for lack of a better word, “performed” She Will Be Loved the audience started singing along and Adam got all pissy and shrieked, er, sang … I kid, I mean shrieked:
“Well, if you want to do my job, go ahead.”
After his tantrum and the pitiful performance, Levine apologized in an Instagram Story, blaming it all on sound issues—meaning, he knows the band sounds bad—saying:
“I’d really like to address reactions to the concert and kind of explain myself because I feel like you guys deserve that You know, being in a band you play a lot of shows and I am so passionate and excited about concerts and about being my best and about the band being our best, and being our best for you guys, honestly, you know. Performing I take so seriously. Sometimes too seriously. And to be totally frank, there were some things holding me back sonically last night. And I let them get to me, and it impacted how I was behaving on stage, which was unprofessional, and I apologize for that. I struggled a lot and sometimes it’s really hard for me to mask the struggle. For that, I did let you guys down and I apologize. Last night wasn’t our best and, for that, all I can say is that I’m really sorry.”
First off, be sorry for that haircut.
Second off, don’t be sorry, be gone.
|
 |
And speaking of old lady’s taking a tumble …
Madonna fell off a chair last week at Le Grand Rex in Paris and needed to be helped back up into her chair. And, because of that fall, Madonna cancelled one of her Paris shows.
Meanwhile, the chair has been sent to the rubbish bin where it sits mournfully next to Oprah’s old shoes.:
Seriously, these two broads better be careful. A broken hip is a dangerous thing.
|
 |
Model Paulina Porizkova was married to, but separated from, singer Ric Ocasek, when he passed away. And, apparently, because they were estranged, Ocasek left Paulina out of thee will and she is not taking this sitting down.
She wants his coins.
In an interview for CBS Sunday Morning, Paulina says that she felt “incredibly hurt” after being left out of Ric’s will following his sudden death in September 2019:
“I would love to be able to be sad and miss him. And not also feel this incredible hurt and betrayal. It made the grieving process really, really tricky.”
Wow. She wants to be sad and miss him, but she can’t do that without getting something in the will?
|
Oprah and Madonna need to take up tai chi to improve their balance.
ReplyDeleteIf Shatner fancies himself as a renaissance man he is sadly mistaken
ReplyDeleteDo you have any idea what horse semen is worth??? It's like liquid gold! Hahaha!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering who the old man with a Mohawk was.
Did Madonna fall off a chair because she fell off a wagon?
Apparently, I'm presently experiencing life at a rate of several idoits per minute. This only happens weekly with this here post.
ReplyDeleteAnd maybe Madge and Oprah should go into a health plan together to get a group rate.
Horse semen for a horse's ass. Kinky!
ReplyDeleteOprah! Used to watch her waaay
ReplyDeleteback in the day.
xoxo :-)
to be fair to Paulina, she allegedly put all her modeling money into a combined account, so i can see her point. I'd kind of pay to see Madge with a broken hip.
ReplyDeleteHorse semen, LMAO! Hope it doesn't become a real thing, though... xD
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I think I was done with Adam Levine back in 2006 or somethin'. M5 are bunch of guys taken off the street, literally.
maybe shatner drinks the horse semen? hey, stranger things have happened...
ReplyDeleteokra, adam, madonna, paulina - BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! has beens, one and all!
So, in the divorce settlement, I guess Shatner gets to keep all his rugs... they're worth a fortune.
ReplyDeleteSo, why does everybody wait until after their shitty performance to offer a shitty apology on Instagram.
When Madonna falls it's part of the act.
When Oprah falls it is, as you said, Karma.
And I understand Rick O had very little left in the bank when he died so I guess the real tricky thing for Paulina is wondering where his money went.
@Debra
ReplyDeleteNow you did it! Oprah will buy the rights to tai chi, and Madge will claim she invented it.
@Steven
I neither know, nor care about horse semen. I stopped having sex with ho--never mind.
@MM
If Madge and Noprah went in on a healthcare plan they's fight over what to call it: OprahHealth? MadonnaMedicine?
@Deedles
Once again, you've cogently and concisely explained it all.
@Blobby
She still sounds like a greedy bitch prying open a coffin to steal the cuff links from Ocasek.
@Hot Guys
Yes, Adam Levine and that "band" are so over.
@AM
Oh dear. I'm feeling a little sick, and Shatner is a little hoarse???
@Dave
Shatner's rugs were clearly part of the pre-nup. He learned that from Travolta!
Like what Debrah said about Tai Chi
ReplyDeleteI saw the bit where Oprah was talking about "balance" and then fell off those bloody shoes. There is an age (and a weight) for those shoes in my opinion and she has neither. I used to wear stilettos when I was young and slim and now I'm neither. I put some on to go to our semi-annual meeting one time and almost had to have a colleague wheel me in on my office chair I couldn't walk in the bloody things. And that photo of Madge. Seriously! She's my age. Who are they trying to fool? And I guess ol' Captain Kirk is no advert for growing old gracefully either is he! Oh dear!
ReplyDelete