Golden Globes Fashion: The Best, The Meh, The Worst, The Preggers, The Men, The WTF and Old Drunk Hollywood?

The Best of The Best:
Lupita Nyong’o may have been robbed of a Globe--her performance in 12 Years A Slave was brilliant--but she stole the Red Carpet from all others last night by going clean and simple and elegant.

The Rest of the Best:
Angela Bassett: Sleek and sultry and sexy; totally Angela.

Cate Blanchett: That's how you do lace on the Red Carpet.

Emma Roberts: Pay attention Aunt Julia, this is how it's done.

Melissa McCarthy: No talk of full-figured women, she just looks gorgeous.

Reese Witherspoon: Might be too simple, but it was beautiful

Uma Thurman: I wondered why she was there, but then I realized it was to show off that spectacular frock.

The Meh:
Amy Adams: It was a'ight, I guess, but the color was all wrong. Plus, when she got out of her car she was wearing a cape and I think she saw Lupita in hers and realized she couldn't keep up.

Amy Poehler: Nothing exciting at all about this one.

Elizabeth Moss: I loathe the lace dresses with the shorter dress beneath; I say What's the point?

Emma Thompson: If she was having tea at the Beverly Hills Hotel then I'd say, Yeah, this works. But this is an wards show and you're a nominee.

Julia Roberts: If it was National Take Your Secretary To Lunch Day this would be a winner.

Michelle Dockery: She looks like a porecelain doll, and by that I mean that dress is so stiff I think it chipped when she walked.

Sandra Bullock: Miss Congeniality? Misfire.

Sofia Vergara: It's a Circus Tent; a Funeral Circus Tent. props for the jewels though.

The Worst:
Tina Fey: Florals are nice ... for drapes ... but this is just too much honey.

Edie Falco: It looks like leftover Christmas wrapping paper.

Taylor Swift: Nancy Drew and The Case of The Dress Wore Her.

Jennifer Lawrence: A white sheet with two black belts. No.

Heidi Klum: Super model? Super dud.

Rashida Jones: Apparently someone liked the wallpaper at The Palms in Vegas so much they ordered a dress to match.

Zooey Deschanel: She said it was Gold, I say it was beige. And boring.

Paula Patton: I couldn't tell if it was Coffee Filters Gone Awry, or if it was the opposite of a Black hole: A White Hole folding in on itself.

Lena Dunham: Honey, you are not a gown girl. And yellow? Honey, no.

Zoe Saldana: She said this was made especially for her. I'm guessing by about ten different designers and then the best parts were piece-mealed into one awful dress.

The Preggers:
Kerry Washington: She looks gorgeous; simple and chic. She really is also one of the Best Dressed from last night.

Olivia Wilde: She goes glitz and glamazon pregnant, though the color and the belly makes me think "Snake swallowed a mouse."

Drew Barrymore: Muumuu sadness.

The Men:
Chris Pine: With a beard; and oh-so-hot.

Bradley Cooper: Imagine being in the middle of a Bradley-Chris sandwich. I am.

Aaron Eckhart: So sexy.

Will Forte: The sleeves seem a little short, but he's adorkable.

Orlando Bloom: He cleaned up nicely.

Beau Bridges: Someone needed a full length mirror to check the shoes ...

George Kotsiopoulos: He's so tiny! And he's a stylist! And he wore pants that are too short and no socks? And he's gay? Somethings wrong here.

Terry Crews: Wrong color, wrong shoe. Wrong.

Kevin Spacey: A velvet tuxedo? Only if you're marching down an aisle carrying a pillow with two rings on it, Kev.

P Diddy: Douche.

The WTF?
Emma Watson: In a gown that is gown in the front, and open in the back, with pants beneath. WTF? Is it a Red Carpet look or a high-end hospital dressing gown?

Old Drunk Hollywood:
Jacqueline Bisset: Let's not even talk about her rambling incoherent speech, and dropping of a sh*t bomb on live TV. Let's talk about running a comb through your hair. Let's talk about getting a gown that fits. Let's talk bad appliques.